Mass Effect: Transcendence
by writeowl3
Summary: In this story, Shepard and Thane Krios are reunited after the Reaper invasion has begun. But can they and their relationship survive?
1. Transcendence

**Author's Note**

_Transcendence_ is my first fan fiction. It began as a vignette but after careful thought and consideration, is being expanded to develop a major story arc in a different direction for some of the events from _Mass Effect 3_.

5/27/13: Some minor tweaks to the story so far to tightened some of the dialogue and descriptions. No changes to story arc. Chapter 6, "Penumbra," is now available. There was an even longer wait for this chapter I'm sorry to say, but hopefully it was worth your wait. Please note that some key content was purposefully included from the game. Planning for another chapter to follow in late June. Please enjoy!

2/9/13: Chapter 5, "Amalgamate," has been added. Apologize for the long wait!

11/19/12: Chapter 4, "Han," has been added. I was quite excited to create this chapter, as it moves a few events of this story arc along and presents some new ideas as well.

9/28/12: Chapter 3, "Sublimare," has been added. I greatly enjoyed writing this chapter and am looking forward to creating the ones that will soon follow. It was written with a few critical choices in mind from the game, some of which will hopefully become apparent once you read through.

9/9/12: "Periphery" has been updated for minor stylistic changes, no alterations to the storyline.

9/1/12: Chapter 2, "Periphery," has been added._  
_

8/9/12: The setting for Chapter 1, "Transcendence," opens with female Shepard finally having the opportunity to speak with Thane Krios again after the opening of events of_ Mass Effect 3._

If you are interested in more, please let me know; I also welcome all forms of constructive feedback. Thank you and enjoy.

* * *

Transcendence

by writeowl3

There were of all things, trees inside the main entrance to Huerta Memorial Hospital. Mammoth poplars manicured in such a way that they appeared to reach up and around the Boettcher Atrium. As if shielding everyone inside from being seen by the rest of the universe. Lush greens sprawled around the room, camouflaging the stark lines of steel which corralled you throughout the rest of the hospital. The only way you knew you hadn't accidentally walked into Eden was the existence of the main desk in the middle of the oasis of foliage. That and the unwavering murmur that filled the room. It came in waves, like ocean tides, swelling and then receding back down again. But it was always a constant. White noise that became a small comfort to the doctors and nurses who worked inside; they were still needed. Shepard wandered past a group of people clustered in the corner of the room. She watched as a man sat on the floor, his back against the chairs. He was holding a woman in his lap, her white hair tied neatly in a bun. He pleaded, begged a nearby nurse to help her as blood seeped into his pants.

Shepard stopped the nurse as he brushed past her. "Hey," she said, pointing to the couple, "Can't you help them? Leaving her to suffer on the floor like that? She's not a stray animal. She needs help."

The nurse frowned and shook his head. "We've already looked at her. There's nothing we can do."

"Can't you at least make her comfortable? Dress her wounds?"

The nurse pointed behind himself. "Look around! Can't you see all the other bloodstains on the floors back there? Our supplies are limited and what dressings, or beds, or morphine that we do have, we need for the ones that have some kind of chance."

"That's cruel," she snarled at him.

"That's reality," he shot back.

"You can't leave her there like this."

"Where do you get off your high horse, lady, telling me what to do? And what in the world do you suggest I dress her with? Find me a spare dressing and I'd be happy to do it."

Shepard gritted her teeth and looked around. "You know what? You're right."

She pulled a knife out and flipped it open. The nurse shrieked. "Hey! You can't use that in here!"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Relax," she said as she grabbed the man's arm and ripped his sleeve off with the knife. She presented it to him on her open palm. "What do you know, a dressing," she said.

Shepard grabbed the man's hand, and then slammed the fabric into it. "Can't you spare her some final shred of decency for a few hours? At least let her have that."

The man thought for a moment. "At least there's that, huh?" He looked back at the old man whose tears fell in his wife's blood.

Shepard gripped the nurse's now sleeveless arm. "We can't let the war strip us of our compassion," she said, her voice low.

The nurse nodded. He balled the sleeve in his fist and walked toward the couple.

* * *

Thane was standing by the panel of glass windows that overlooked the Presidium. Shepard approached, but he didn't move. She reached out, but he turned and grabbed her wrist before she could touch his jacket. He dropped her wrist immediately, as if it was suddenly painful to touch her.

"Siha...you're...alive," he sighed, " Thank the gods."

"Thane. It feels like it's been forever. I missed you."

He nodded. "I had sent many messages while you were...detained. I assumed when I heard nothing back that they didn't get through. And yet here you are."

Shepard shook her head. "I didn't know to come looking for you here until I was commanding the Normandy again. I never received any of your messages while I was awaiting trial back on Earth. I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond."

He shrugged. "Of course. Perhaps I should have pulled a few more strings than I had- - expended a few more favors. It is no matter now, I suppose."

"Is something wrong?"

"Not at all." He turned away, his hands clasped behind his back. He paused to breathe. He felt as though a thousand little arrows were piercing his lungs, each intake of air slightly more biting than the previous breath. "How did you get out? Off Earth, I mean. I had heard about the attacks. I was concerned for your safety."

Shepard watched him breathe as he walked. "We were in council with the Alliance Defense Committee when the Reapers arrived. It's a long story, but I wouldn't be here without EDI and Joker's help. We barely made it out of there," she said.

"I see."

Shepard frowned. She grasped both his arms, turning him to face her. He shifted his gaze into the distance. "Thane, what is it? The whole Citadel can tell that something is bothering you," she said.

"Maybe we should sit for a while," he said. He brushed past her to a nearby table. Shepard waited for him to speak but instead he was quiet, his lips pursed. She sat back with her arms crossed. They watched in silence as a stream of medical staff fluttered through the atrium into the patient wings. One woman pushed a gurney past with a child on it, clinging to a stuffed animal.

"Is it your disease?" she asked.

"No. It is what it is," he said.

"Something with the hanar? Your home?"

"No."

"Your family?"

"No."

"What then? If there's something wrong, something with me, I'd like to know. I can't fix whatever it is unless you tell me."

He shrugged and stared off into the distance over Shepard's shoulder. "I saw you coming from the patient rooms," he said finally, "Were you visiting someone else while you were here?"

She nodded, confused. "Kaidan. He's a friend from the first Normandy. He was nearly killed on Mars by one of the Illusive Man's assassins. I at least owed him a hospital visit."

Thane clasped his hands together from across the table. He leaned forward and looked at her. "Yes, we've met. He's spoken of you often. Shepard, after all I have shared with you about my life, why is it that you left out this...why didn't you tell me about your relationship with him?"

Shepard brushed her hand over her hair. "Yes, we were together once. Before the first Normandy was destroyed. Does it matter now?"

His eyelids fluttered rapidly. "You tell me. It seemed to matter to him still. I just thought I deserved the truth from you before I died."

"That's an awful thing to say to me."

"So what is it then?"

"Kaidan is my friend. We've been through a lot together. But that's over now...things can sometimes fall apart. He asked for another chance, but I was honest with him from the start. I will always care for him, but it's different now. We're different now. And it doesn't change how I feel about you. You of all people, Thane, I thought could understand this," she said.

He frowned and looked out the window. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Just ask next time. And trusting me a little more wouldn't hurt either."

"I apologize. Truly, I do. When I heard him talk about you, I just didn't know what to think. After finally letting someone in, I was certain I had been deceived."

She placed her hand on top of his, waiting until he looked at her again. "Thane," she said, "we don't have time to lie to each other."

"I supposed none of us do anymore, do we?" he mused.

"No one ever did."

He nodded.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

He coughed. "Some days are better than others. But my better days seem to be fewer and farther apart."

"Does it hurt?"

He paused to think. "There are days when my breath is so sharp and raw that it makes me wish it would just end. Days when the pain starts to feel pointless, when I feel as if my soul has been ripped inside out and it screams to be freed from such agony. And there are days when I know I will miss so many things when I die. Waking in the morning. Seeing the stars. Feeling the wind. The ones I love. And then I want to stay for as long as my body will allow."

"What can I do?" she asked quietly.

He smiled at her. "Being here is enough."

"I wish there was more," she said.

He shook his head. "You have already done more than most. How is Earth holding up?"

Shepard looked off into the distance, recalling the fire that fell like rain. The screams. The faces. "Devastated. I saw some things on Akuze. But nothing like this. Nothing. Like the Seventh Circle of Hell was dropped on our front door step."

Thane nodded again. He coughed. He gently squeezed her hand. "I can only imagine the sadism. I'm so sorry."

She tried to block out the visions of the systematic destruction she had left behind. It was difficult to feel it again. "Even after all we've tried to do. We stopped Saren. We destroyed the Collectors. All the warning signs were there along the way. And we still weren't ready. Part of me wonders if we've already failed before even getting started."

"What will you do?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. A few alliances have been made in an attempt to hold back the Reapers, but it's not making a big enough impact. It's just slowing them down, not stopping them. We've got another plan we're putting together. It's a long shot, but it's our best hope." She let out a short, hard laugh. "We just need...more time."

"How are you holding up through all of this?" he asked. "You look tired. Have the nightmares stopped? The ones you had been having since the Bahak System went dark?"

She sighed. "Truthfully? No. If anything, they've gotten worse. Much...worse."

He held both of her hands from across the table. "Tell me."

Even with her eyes closed, the heat from the flames felt real. Shepard shook her head. "I...I can't. It's not that I don't want to, I just- -"

He nodded. "I understand. If you need to talk about it...Well, just don't wait too long."

They watched the world go by out the window. Couples walked along the Presidium, hand in hand. A few turian guards patrolled the area, their sidearms safely tucked away. A pink hanar glossed past a group of elcor meandering under the massive silver pillars and arches that continued on and out, stretching into the distance toward the other arms of the Citadel station.

"How long have you been here?" she said.

"Weeks," he said, "I found it easier to handle the treatments at the hospital. And Kolyat and I have been spending more time together."

Shepard smiled. "I'm glad that you've been able to see each other. That you've been speaking."

Thane nodded. "He is one of the most important people in my life. It's been a blessing to have him returned to me whole again." Thane rubbed his temple and looked around the room. "Do you have some time while you're here?"

She nodded. "We're on shore leave today. Everyone needed a break while we could still get one."

"Can we go somewhere then? I'd like to show you something, if that's alright with you," he said.

She nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Thane led Shepard by the arm. Her eyes were shut tightly as he guided her. "You can open your eyes now," he said.

She peeked through her eyelashes, squinting, before opening her eyes wide. They stood near a fountain surrounded by roses that were so purple, they almost appeared black in the twilight of the Presidium's cycling light. "Thane, they're beautiful."

He smiled, "Like the ones you told me about on Earth that you enjoy so much. I found them after one of my daily treatments. And I knew I had to show them to you."

Shepard smiled back at him. "Thank you. And yes, I do remember. How could I ever forget?" She pressed her hand firmly in his as they walked.

His eyelids fluttered as he spoke. "I have very much wanted to see you. To spend time with you again. Siha. I'm so sorry that I couldn't get to you sooner."

"There was a lot going on at the time. I didn't expect you to rescue me from a court martial. Or from the Alliance."

Thane's laughter quickly turned into a series of small coughs. "If there's anything I have learned in the time I have known you, it's that you would be the last person who would ever need saving. If anything, you are always the one coming to the aid of everyone else."

Shepard shook her head. "I'm not so sure these days."

Thane stopped. "What do you mean?"

She cringed and knelt down to touch the roses. She felt along the veins of the petals and traced them to the outside edges that curled up and around her fingertips. "On Earth. There were so many I couldn't help. I left this little boy and I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have- -"

Thane knelt next to her. He touched her cheek and turned her face towards him. "This is what your nightmares have been about lately. Haven't they?"

Shepard nodded. "I hear them," she whispered. "They're there in my dreams. Everyone we've lost. And then some. I can't see them but I hear them, begging me to help them. And I try...but I can't. I want to but I can't. I try to get to them before the flames do. But it's always too late. And then I'm usually the one waking up screaming."

He looked at her with concern. "Don't let your mind destroy itself with regret. You do the best you can," he said.

She bit her lower lip and knelt in silence for a moment. "And what if my best isn't good enough?"

"It will be."

"I couldn't save him," she scoffed, "and there's nothing I can do to help you. No matter how hard I've tried. It's all coming out the same in the end. No matter what I do. I feel so...helpless. Alone."

Thane stood and helped Shepard to her feet. "We would never have gotten this far if it weren't for you. Because of you- - your team, your friends, your family, your home- - all have a fighting chance. It has been no small feat for any one of us, this fight for survival. Trust in yourself; you have taught all of us that we can create our own greatness- - carve our own destinies. It is in what feels like our weakest and most vulnerable moments, that we can find strength we never knew we had. Your faith in yourself, your companions, and your innermost feelings will help you find this strength again. Never lose this hope. No matter how starless the night becomes. Will you promise me this?"

She nodded. "Yes."

They continued walking among the rose bushes that sprawled around the fountain. Shepard reached her hand out to let it caress the lips of the petals. The open-mouthed flowers swayed in tandem, entranced by her movement as she stroked each one.

"Thane," she said finally, " I can't imagine...not having you here."

He stopped walking. "May I share something with you, Siha?"

"Of course," she said.

He looked up at the fading clouds. "Given the opportunity to live this life over, I'd choose this path all over again. Because I know I'd choose to be with you."

"Do you know what a _by'taremma_ is?" he asked.

"No. What is it?" she said.

"In my culture, it means 'spiritual destiny.' We believe that a psyche is split into two equal halves. Each half seeks the other out in the physical life, until they find one another."

"Like a soul mate?" she asked.

"In a word, yes. Once their...well, what you might call 'karma,' is fulfilled and their physical debts are purged, the two will reunite, joined and whole. Their energies are united. Bonded. Forever in the physical realm and beyond. Siha, I want you to have this. My promise to you. And a reminder," he said, "of our time together. Of me."

He pulled a necklace from his pocket and clasped it around her neck. On it hung a swirl of gold that glittered and twisted like sand under the stars. A solitary gem was nestled inside the golden vortex. He touched the pendant.

"To see a world in a grain of sand,  
And a heaven in a wild flower,  
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,  
And eternity in an hour," he recited.

Shepard smiled at him. She placed her hand over his. "It's a beautiful poem."

Thane nodded. "I must be honest with you, Siha. I wanted to do more. I wanted...to give you so much more. In return for all you have given me. In seeing life through your eyes, I was able to gain a new perspective...on life...on love...a wholeness that I never believed possible. Peace. And joy. And I hope that you'll remember these words when you wear this, Siha. You are my _by'taremma_."

"Thane," she whispered, touching his cheek. He pulled her close. "You are mine," she said.

He kissed her, their lips barely touching. She pressed for more, deepening their kiss.

He pulled back and looked at her. "No matter what happens," he said, catching his breath, "I will always be with you. I love you, Siha."

"I love you, Thane," she said, her voice breaking.

He kissed her forehead and then kissed her lips again. Behind them, the water in the fountain flowed around the statue of an asari. Her stone body knelt in prayer, but her face reached toward the sky. A haze of water cascaded over her face, flowing like tears along her cheeks and trailing over her pressed palms before falling into the basin beneath her.


	2. Periphery

Periphery

by writeowl3

The reflection from the comm screen glowed orange on Shepard's face. She stood in her quarters on the Normandy, her profile outlined in the room's diluted light. She stood, waiting patiently until the figure of an Alliance captain finally appeared on screen. The skin crinkled around the corners of the captain's pale blue eyes as she smiled at Shepard's image. They saluted one another. "It's good to see you, Captain," Shepard said.

The captain tucked the graying strands of hair behind her left ear. "You as well, Commander," she replied. "I must say, it's a welcome relief to see you. I don't usually get the honor of a personal meeting with you these days. Most of the time, I've got to knock down the door of every hard-assed Alliance brass out there just to find out where your ship has docked, let alone what you're actually doing. But I guess I shouldn't complain. Happy to have the privilege, I suppose. Especially since we hadn't heard from you once everything went to hell in a hand basket out there on Earth. Thought maybe they did you in for good this time. "

Shepard scratched the back of her head and grinned. "I've got eight more lives."

The captain crossed her arms and shook her head. "And from the reports I heard, it was nearly seven. Don't be so eager to use them all up at once."

Shepard nodded. She couldn't hide the amused expression on her face. "Noted, ma'am."

"So tell me," the captain said as she leaned against the desk behind her. The neatly stacked datapads shifted slightly against her weight. She readjusted them. "What's the situation out there, Commander? I don't want the fluff or the speeches. What's really going on, plain and simple?"

Shepard thought for a moment. Her expression was pensive. She hesitated. "It's grim," she said finally, her voice firm. "The resistance is splintered everywhere. There's no focus. Earth's burning as we speak. The turians are slowly retreating from Palaven-"

"Are they trying at all to hold it?"

Shepard shook her head. "They've focused their military forces on Menae at this point."

The captain sighed. She rubbed her forehead. "They've retreated to one of their moons already?"

"It's the best shot they have."

"The bases are strongholds, but they won't last forever," the captain replied.

"They know. The Reapers have been sending in ground forces to pick them off one by one." She paused, balling her hand into a fist by her side. "But they're holding on for now."

The captain sighed again, exhaling deeper than before. She rested her forefinger and thumb against her temple, watching in silence as Shepard wandered over to the wall of model ships. The commander ran her fingers along the curve of the miniature quarian vessel.

"Shepard, is there any way to get assistance to Earth?" the captain asked finally, her voice almost pleading.

"We're working on it, Captain."

"I thought for sure that the turians were our best bet. But from what I've seen, the Reapers are trying to divide and conquer as swiftly as possible. Truly a blitzkrieg of massive proportions, if I've ever seen one. And the sickening part is that it's working. No one is willing to risk their corner of the galaxy for someone else."

"We haven't exhausted all our options yet. Where's the Orizaba now?" Shepard asked, turning to face the comm.

The captain shifted her weight again against the desk. "Our ship is in the Petra Nebula, cleaning out the remnants of Cerberus after you plowed through here. We were previously hailed to the Horse Head Nebula to assist the Shasta. But we were delayed in our own battles at that time in the Maroon Sea. We...didn't get there in time."

Shepard frowned. She stared down, gripped her fingers on the edge of the desk behind her. The door to her quarters opened. She turned to see Liara's figure outlined by the light in the hallway. Liara turned to leave, but Shepard motioned for her to enter.

"She was destroyed?" Shepard asked.

The captain nodded. "Nearly obliterated. What parts were left weren't salvageable. Barely recognizable as Alliance. No survivors."

Liara gingerly entered the commander's quarters. She lingered by the aquarium, observing the discussion. Glyph hovered nearby, casting a blue light around her.

"She was a good ship," Shepard said quietly.

"And commanded by a good friend. Isaeus was one of the best. He and your father served on their first tour of duty together, from what I was told," the captain replied.

Shepard nodded. "I remember my father's stories. Straight out of the Academy together. And drinking partners to the end." She looked up at the comm screen, smiling wryly. "Dad always told me how much I reminded him of Isaeus back then. I never really knew why."

"Because," the captain said, "Isaeus could always fall into a pile of shit and come out smelling like a rose." Her laughter lilted along with Shepard's, harmonizing in impromptu melody.

The captain smiled. "It seems you two shared that 'permeating' quality since your Academy days. Call it luck or wits...or maybe an equitable amount of both. I'd like to think that it was just luck Isaeus ran out of this time and not the latter."

"I promise you, ma'am, his sacrifice and that of his crew will not be forgotten."

The captain selected a datapad from the stack on the desk behind her. She began typing as she spoke. "I'm sure his family would appreciate a note, Commander, especially from you."

"Are you telling me or asking me, Captain Hannah?"

The captain paused in her typing and looked up at the commander. "Both," she said pointedly.

"Right," Shepard sighed, "I'm not sure what to say though."

"The truth," the captain said, her voice softening, "about the way he lived and the man he was. What he meant to your family. You know enough stories, have enough memories to share. They need someone to reach out right now, to let them know that a connection is still out there, to the man they lost."

Shepard nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

"Good, I've already sent you their contact information. Now," the captain said, pointing toward Liara. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

Liara came forward, smoothing her white jacket against her thigh. She bowed slightly. "Dr. Liara T'Soni. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. I've heard a lot about you."

The captain grumbled. She brushed the sleeves of her jacket, then folded her arms. "Only the good things, of course."

Liara laughed. "Of course."

"I've heard a good deal about you as well, Doctor. I realize you're not military, but we appreciate your service here, your expertise, and your friendship," the captain said.

"Thank you," Liara replied.

The captain glanced at Shepard. "I should be going soon; the XO will be looking for me. Any other updates for me, Commander? Did I hear correctly that the krogan are now working with the turians? I was under the impression that the krogan would rather eat a still beating turian heart before they'd ever fight alongside one of them."

Shepard nodded. "We were able to broker a deal. I've made a mess with the salarians in the process, but maybe I can still smooth things over with Dalatrass Linron."

"Off the record, Commander? I wouldn't piss on her even if she were on fire."

Liara's jaw dropped. Shepard laughed. "That's an interesting sentiment, Captain. I guess there's a first for everything."

"Really," the captain scoffed, placing the datapad back on the largest of three stacks on her desk. She arranged it so it was square to the rest of the pile before approaching closer to the comm. "In my personal experience, the dalatrass has always suffered from rectal-cranial inversion and because of it, she's barely hung onto power over these last years. And since credits no longer buy allegiance, she's losing even more control. She's not worth it, Commander."

"What are you suggesting instead?" Shepard asked.

"Politicians aren't our last line of defense," the captain said.

"No," Shepard mused, "the military is. And the Special Tasks Group has a stronghold on their military."

The captain nodded. "If you can garner STG's support, the rest of the salarians worth anything will likely follow as well, with our without the dalatrass."

Shepard reached for a datapad from the sprawled assortment next to her. "Thank you, Captain. I'll follow up with some of my contacts. See what channels they can open."

"Keep me updated on your progress, Commander. I realize that I can't keep constant tabs on you. But it would be nice to see you...once and a while. "

Shepard nodded. "I promise. If I can find a secure channel, you'll hear from me again as soon as anything changes."

"Keep the Normandy safe, Commander Shepard. With any luck, we'll see this through to the end."

"I don't know how, yet. But I'll do my best," Shepard said.

"I know you will. We'll all be ready with courage and commitment, to honor and protect."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

The captain sighed. "I need to get back. We should almost be finished out here. I believe the admiral will be ordering us back to Arcturus Station soon. Thanks for the personal debriefing this time, Commander. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

Shepard smiled, but her gaze was somber. "Of course. Take care of the Orizaba. Keep her and the rest of the Fifth Fleet safe."

The captain laughed. "She's got 156 broadside mass accelerator cannons. She'll keep herself safe. But I'll keep her running. And Commander? One more thing before I go."

"Yes, ma'am?"

The captain cleared her throat. She straightened her posture and adjusted her blue coat. "I know that if your father saw you today, he'd be very proud of you," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Because I'm damn proud. Every step of the way." The captain saluted. "Never forget, that we'll never be lost in these lonely skies..."

"...if all we ask for is our ship...and a star to guide her by," Shepard finished quietly. She returned the captain's salute.

"Stay safe out there," the captain replied.

"You too, Mom. Shepard out."

* * *

The comm screen went dark. Gylph swirled around Liara as she straightened the datapads on the desk. "I'm sorry, the door wasn't locked."

Shepard waved her off. "I know. We were just catching up."

"You look a lot like her, your mother."

Shepard laughed. "I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or a good thing."

Liara smiled. "Asari pride themselves on transferring the traits of their mothers. It's a sign of strength; an honor to carry on in her image. To also pass a part of her on, hopefully, to your own children. And from what I could tell, you share a lot more with your mother than just a smile or the way you laugh. So yes, I'd say it's a good thing."

Shepard handed her a glass. She carried one for herself and walked toward the sofa. Liara followed and sat beside her. "Where is she serving now?"

"The Orizaba."

Glyph swirled in between them. "SSV Mt. Orizaba," he prattled, "Dreadnought capable of heavy, long-range attacks. One kilometer long. Flagship of the Alliance Fifth Fleet. Commissioned in 2185-"

Liara raised her hand, as if she were shoving it in his face. "Thank you, Glyph. That wasn't really necessary."

Shepard opened the bottle on the table. Liara held up her glass to be filled. "Shepard, do you miss your father?"

Shepard paused, poised to pour the liquid. "All the time."

"Tell me about him."

Placing the bottle back on the table, she then leaned back on the sofa and closed her eyes. "He was a tall man. Lean. Not skinny. But lean. My father just didn't look right unless he was in uniform. Maybe that's because that's how I always remember him in my dreams. But I guess that's how I always saw him. He was firm. Expected a lot from me. And I was there, always eager to please. He didn't laugh a lot. But when he did, it filled the room. It made you feel...full. Whole." She paused, thinking briefly. "Sometimes his features are a little fuzzy. I can't remember how his voice sounded anymore." She frowned. "It's there, I think, but...I just can't find it."

Liara touched her shoulder. "Does that bother you?"

"Sometimes. It makes me worry, I guess."

"About what?"

She looked at Liara. "That I'll really lose him. What I remember of him. For good."

"What about vids? Holos?"

Shepard shrugged. "There are a few. Somewhere. The ones I carried with me were destroyed when the Normandy went down."

Liara pulled back. She placed her hands in her lap and stared down at them. Shepard reached out again and continued pouring drinks. The pink liquid rocked back and forth inside the lowball glass as she handed it to Liara.

"I understand," Liara said finally. "I still miss my mother."

Shepard sipped her drink. The glass was cool against her lips, but the liquor warmed her cheeks. "Do you think of Benezia a lot?"

Liara nodded. She sipped and then stared into her glass. "Sometimes," she mused, "when I'm not busy. I think of her. I miss who she used to be, when I was much younger. I used to drive myself crazy, wondering if there was something I could have done differently to help her escape from Saren. But mostly now, I wonder as to how we would be. Would we have finally healed our argumental wounds? Could we have become close again? Supportive, even, of one another? Many times, I daydream about what could have been. And then I wonder sometimes what she would think of me and the person I've become; this path I've chosen. Not quite the little girl she left behind. Sometimes I wonder if she would even recognize me."

"What about your father?" Shepard asked.

Liara put her glass down. It clinked against the tabletop. "I don't know," she said, "How can you miss something you never had?"

"I never thought of it that way."

"I'd still like to think that whatever the reason was that Benezia raised me by herself, that it was a damn good reason. My father was not meant to be part of my life. Of who I am. And...I'm at peace with that reality."

Glyph quietly circled them again. Shepard watched him. "You know, do you ever worry about him?"

"In what way?"

"I don't know. He never does anything weird...like hum to himself, does he?"

"Why would he do that?" Liara asked.

Glyph floated toward Shepard. "I am not capable of producing true musical tones. However, if you like, Commander, my memory banks have stored 1.5 million compositions that I could replicate for you," he said.

"No, please, just...no," she replied.

Liara crossed her arms and glared at him. "Can you give us some privacy, please?"

"As you wish, Dr. T'Soni," he said and floated toward the aquarium.

"Shepard-" Liara said, but hesitated. Shepard frowned. She placed her glass on the table next to Liara's.

"Liara," she said, "is there something you need? I'm guessing you didn't come all the way up to my quarters just for an introduction to my mother."

Liara shook her head. She moved away from the sofa and began pacing. "Shepard, one of my contacts. He came to me with updates on the activity on Omega."

"What did the Illusive Man do now?"

Liara waved her question off. She slowed her pacing until almost a standstill, watching Glyph whirl next to the aquarium. The bubbles from the fish cascaded upward as they swam behind him.

"Liara," Shepard said more forcefully, now standing beside her.

"It's not the Illusive Man I'm here to tell you about. It's Dr. Heplorn."

"Whatever it is, Liara, just tell me."

Liara began fidgeting. She went to the desk and grabbed a datapad. Continuing her pacing, she scrolled through the information in her hand.

"Before the Illusive Man took control of Omega, Dr. Heplorn managed to escape."

Shepard stared blankly. "Maelon?"

"Dr. Maelon Heplorn, salarian scientist," Glyph piped, "Member of STG-"

"I remember who he is, Glyph," Shepard said, exasperated. "Why are you telling me about Maelon? Mordin's gone."

"While running his clinic in Omega," Liara continued, "he had a variable amount of gene therapy developments that he persisted in working on."

"On test subjects?"

Liara nodded. "Some. But not like before. I don't know the specifics of what he was trying to do. But my sources tell me that he stumbled over what one might consider as...a cure." She looked at Shepard and offered her the datapad.

Shepard frowned and pulled the device from Liara's hand. She scrolled through its contents. The two exchanged glances. "You mean-"

"I don't know if he had one fully completed." Liara said quickly. "Shepard, I almost didn't tell you. In case...in case it may be too late. I don't know how or even if it would work on the advanced stages of Kepral's Syndrome. And I don't have enough information to know for certain."

Shepard closed her eyes. "Thane," she whispered. She tossed the datapad on the sofa and grabbed Liara by her shoulders. "Where is he?"

"My, my contact is on the Citadel now," she stammered.

"No! Where is Maelon?"

"He didn't say."

Shepard strode toward the door. She turned and looked at Liara as the hallway opened up behind her.

"Then I guess we need to find out."


	3. Sublimare

Sublimare

by writeowl3

The buildings of the Presidium jutted out into the waterway; silver stalagmites that appeared to climb above some of the greenest plant life that Garrus had ever seen. Snaking through the crowd, he followed behind the rest of the team, watching Liara's blue crests weave through the mass of people on the walkway. An asari and her young daughter bumped into him, laughing and clutching yellow playbills in their hands.

He forced his way further through the crowd, catching up to Liara. Motioning toward one of the theater-goers, he asked, "Do you see those things they're all holding? What in the world is that man on the front of them wearing?"

Liara strained to look. The playbills displayed an image of a man in black robes; a long, thin sword at his side. He was laughing and fanning himself with a giant green folding fan. "Those are playbills they're holding from a theater performance. If I remember my culture studies correctly, he's wearing something from human culture called _wafuku_." She pointed to the billboard above the theater. "It's from _The Mikado_."

"What's it about?" Shepard asked.

"I think it's a rather dark but witty comedy," Liara purred, "it grapples with the strain of tradition and patrician ideals of honor while mocking the very philosophies that the characters deem so important, contrasting the themes of death and cruelty in complete farce. "

Garrus stopped. He looked at her, a blank stare on his face. "So what does that mean, in non-anthropological terms?"

"It means that death is a big joke," she replied dryly. "Anyways, it's an operetta by the humans Gilbert and Sullivan," she continued.

"Gilbert and Sullivan," Shepard mused. "Mordin's favorite."

Liara nodded, trying to hide her laughter. "He was surprisingly, uh, musically ambitious."

Shepard grinned. "You mean you didn't like his singing?"

"Well," Liara deliberated, "It was...an acquired taste."

"I didn't mind," Garrus said, "and I don't even like theater. What was that one he was singing for me before...'For He Is an Englishman.' Always made me laugh with that one."

"That's from the _H.M.S. Pinafore_," Liara interjected.

"No, I swear it was from the other one. You know. The one about duty," Garrus argued.

"I thought they were all about duty," Shepard argued back.

"No, they're not," Liara chided.

"I still think it was the other one. Pirates and duty and all that nonsense," Garrus muttered.

"Honestly," Liara huffed. "Still, if I could have seen Mordin performing anything, _The Mikado_ would have been it. I can just picture him singing 'Three Little Maids From School' in falsetto. It would have been quite charming, actually." She laughed.

Garrus held his forehead as if in mock pain. "Look, like I said, theater, or poetry, or whatever, really isn't my thing. This conversation is giving me a headache. "

"That's a shame, Garrus. You're missing out on so much culture," Liara said.

"Thanks just the same. But if you're looking for some kind of culture-appreciation victim, let me know. I have a none-too-short list of people I'd be happy for you to torture in my place," he said.

* * *

Shepard slipped past the edge of the crowd and behind the theater. She turned, nearly tripping over someone. He stood there, half hidden in the shadows, leaning patiently against the wall. Watching, as if he was waiting for them.

Shepard gasped. "Thane, what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here?" he returned. His voice was flat, his fists clenched at his sides.

Garrus coughed and motioned behind them, backing up a few steps. "You know, it seems like you two should, um, talk. We'll just be over- -"

"No. Stay," Shepard ordered. Garrus took a few more steps backward and nudged Liara. The two of them skulked away, slowly making their way back toward the theater entrance, exchanging looks of anxiousness. Shepard focused on adjusting the sleeve of her jacket, rubbing her fingers along the edge of the metal button.

"How are you?" she asked.

Thane's eyelids fluttered briefly as he approached her. "Maintaining, I suppose. Why are you here?"

She looked at him, carefully studying his expression before answering. "I have business on the Citadel," she paused, "I don't understand- -"

"No. Please. Do not do this. I am asking you to leave it alone," he said.

"Leave it alone? Thane, You're not making any sense- -"

"Kolyat," he said more forcefully. His chest heaved and he paused for a breath. "Kolyat told me of your conversation with him. Of everything. And I am asking you to stop. Please."

Shepard frowned. "How can you?" she said finally. "How can you ask me that? We should at least talk to Liara's contact- -"

"Truths as well as lies are easily bought and sold with blood," Thane said, his voice breaking. "You're putting your life in danger, and for what?" He paused and winced in pain. "Something that may not even exist. Something that may not even matter. And worse yet, something that may be a trap."

"It's not like that- -" she started.

He raised his hand. "You can't know that!"

Liara approached him, joining the discussion. "I believe we can trust this man," she said, eyeing Thane.

He looked at her. "Your enemies are just as numerous as your allies. Even in your position, how can you possibly be completely certain?"

"I have worked with him in the past. His information is good, I can personally assure you. Despite what you may or may not think about me now, I do not take the responsibilities of my position lightly. Things have changed," she said.

"Thane," Shepard interjected, "you don't even know what the treatment is yet."

"I know that it is not meant to be," he said.

"No," she shot back. "You don't know that."

"Please," he said, walking past Liara to take Shepard's hand. "Siha, you need to accept this and to let it go."

She pushed his hand away. "I won't. I can't and I won't." Her cheeks felt as if they were blistering. "We finally have a chance to do something about this, and you're going to throw it away?"

"I am at peace with my fate," he said, coughing, "and it's time you were as well."

"No," she said again. "I refuse to quit until I've tried everything."

"And what about me?" Thane said, raising his voice. "What about what I want? What if I don't want this? I am not willing to risk what little I have left on a sheer gamble. I can't do it."

Neither spoke for a time but their expressions charged the air around them. Shepard gritted her teeth. "You're afraid," she said.

Thane narrowed his eyes. His body became stiff, angular in intimidation. "I don't think I heard you right."

"You," she said, lifting her jaw in defiance, "Are. Afraid. Damn it, Thane, you know I'm right. You're hiding behind death, welcoming it even at this point. Because you're so scared of the opportunity to live again. To find a focus again. And I think you're afraid of us. Afraid of what kind of future we could have together. I think it scares the hell out of you, because dying in love is so much easier than living with it."

The jolt of her words sent him stepping backwards. "I don't fear death. I don't welcome it either. Who are you doing this for, Shepard? I can't tell anymore." His voice was suddenly cool and even again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're so consumed by this vocation to find a cure that it's become an obsession in you. I can feel it. See it. I think you may have lost sight of the reason for wanting it in the first place. Is it actually for me? Or is it really for you?"

"You...you think I'm being selfish?" she said. She spat her words at him.

"I don't believe you're thinking clearly. You're losing focus and grasping, desperately, at anything that flies in front of your face."

She held his gaze, watching her own reflection in his eyes. "I made a promise. And I intend to keep it," she said, "All of it."

His expression was somber, his breathing sporadically labored as he grasped her hands. The warmth from her palms thawed the chill inside his own, nearly making him forget the aching numbness in his fingertips. "Is this how you intend to leave our final memories of one another?" he asked.

"I won't say goodbye. Not yet," she said.

Their fingers were still intertwined as she began to pull away from him. He gripped harder, but she continued to unravel her grasp. "I'm doing this no matter what. Once we get some answers here, I'd like for you to come with us. If there is a way to treat your illness, it would be faster that way. If you change your mind. If you still want to fight for what you have, what you've always had...then I'll see you back at the Normandy," she said.

Motioning for Garrus and Liara to follow, she walked away. Thane remained where he stood, watching her blend in to the crowd and disappear.

"I've never seen an argument like that before," Liara whispered to Garrus. They trailed behind Shepard as they walked.

"That wasn't an argument; that was foreplay," Garrus whispered back.

Liara rolled her eyes. "You're so ridiculous sometimes."

Garrus grinned and shrugged innocently. "What?"

* * *

The three of them wandered through the holding areas of the docks in search of their contact. Children darted past, laughing loudly and playing with whatever they could find. Refugees huddled around the security checkpoint, hungry to gain entrance to the one place they felt they could still turn to for protection. A young woman approached Sheppard and grabbed her arm, nearly pulling her to the ground. "Have…seen you, have you...have you seen him?" she said, stumbling over her words. Her eyes were dull and glassy, her breathing panicked.

Shepard righted herself, rubbing her shoulder. "Slow down," she said. "Who are you looking for?"

The woman fumbled through the contents of her pockets. Bits of food fell like confetti to the floor. A small photo and a switchblade unfurled from torn scraps of bloodied fabric, landing in a heap. "My…my brother. Please! You've seen him...tell me you've seen him."

Garrus and Shepard exchanged glances as he moved toward the woman. The woman reached around Garrus and thrust the photo at Shepard, thumping her fist against the commander's chest. "Please," she said again. "Please!" she began to scream, "You have to have seen him. You have to!"

The refugees nearby spoke in monastic whispers that evaporated from their lips, a sort of bewildered reverence around them. The woman's voice climbed above them, like a single bell sounding over the congregation. A few C-Sec officers began to approach. Shepard grabbed the woman's wrist. Liara attempted to remove the photo from the woman's hand but she resisted, pushing Shepard away. "You have to calm down," Shepard said. "We can't help you if you don't. Where are you from? Where did you last see your brother?"

The woman became quiet, her gaze shifting intently from Liara to Garrus to Shepard and back again. Her hands began to shake violently as her tears flowed. "He…they're taking him. The ones with the bodies made of corpses. They eat each other. Grab at you they're screaming... screaming like death. They take him, take him I run and they take him…mutilate him. I watch. I watch... his screams make his face melt. His eye are burning and he screams. Screams. Dead and hollow. Like...like them." Her chest heaved, harder and faster, choking off her cries. She thrust her whole body at Shepard, this time knocking her to the ground and landing on top of her. "Where is my brother!" she shrieked in visceral, curdling screams.

Shepard lay there in shock as the woman continued to yell and hit her. Garrus and Liara immediately pulled the woman off of her and into the hands of C-Sec. The woman writhed and bucked like a wild animal. She continued to cry over and over, "Where is my brother!"

The officers attempted to subdue her with words, but she continued twisting her body and shrieking through her tears. Panicking, the turian officer sedated her. Her cries ceased and her body slumped to the ground. "Sorry for the trouble, ma'am," he said to Shepard while wiping his brow.

"Where are you taking her?" Shepard asked while Garrus and Liara helped her to her feet.

"Huerta Memorial. They should be able to treat her with something."

Reaching down, the commander plucked the damaged photo from the ground. It flickered in the tiny frame as a young man and woman smiled at her, standing in a field of crops. Shepard looked up, watching as C-Sec carried away the woman's limp body.

"Are you alright?" Liara asked.

Shepard caught her breath; her fist closed around the image. "I'm fine," she said, trying to wipe her own panicked expression from her face. "I'm fine." She continued watching the officer walk away, mesmerized by woman's arm swaying against the turian's body as he carried her.

"Shepard," Liara said softly.

The commander frowned, closing her eyes for a moment. Even then, she could still see their faces. "Yeah...yeah, I know," she said, placing the picture inside her pocket.

Liara gently tugged on Shepard's arm, pulling her toward the holding areas. "We should disappear into the crowd; away from here. No one is going to talk to us if we've got an audience watching by security." Garrus and Shepard followed her as she made her way to the farthest corner of the docks.

* * *

Standing among the containers in Cargo Hold D, Garrus and Shepard waited for Liara to return with her contact. Shepard ran her hand along the giant metal casing next to her.

Garrus watched, leaning against another container. "Shepard," he said, "you know she wouldn't have arranged this meeting if she didn't think it was worth checking out."

Shepard nodded.

"He's right, you know."

She stopped pacing and looked at Garrus. "What do you mean?"

"Thane," he continued. "He's right. No matter what happens here with this, you have to keep your focus."

"You don't think I'm focused?"

"I think you're doing everything for as many people as you can, including the ones that are most important to you. But you can't fix everything out there. You've had a lot of heavy choices to make, and I don't want any of them...to break you."

Shepard approached him. "I'm a soldier first, Garrus. I always will be," she said quietly.

"I know that," he said.

"I get how high the stakes are. I think I understand them better than most. Every day, every second that passes, the Reapers get that much closer to wiping us all out. How many more brothers, sisters, parents, children out there...how many more? I get how crushing the consequences are if we fail. And maybe it is selfish of me, to want to hold on to the man I love. But for this moment, right now, if I don't try...I'd never forgive myself," she said.

Garrus nodded. "I understand. We're with you, Shepard. All the way."

"You're a good friend, Garrus," she said.

"Huh," he grumbled, giving her shoulder a playful shove. "I just don't want to see you all mopey. You get drunk when you're mopey. And your ability to aim a gun gets considerably worse when you're drunk. I'm just trying to avoid a bullet in my ass."

They laughed as a large armed salarian turned the corner. His presence blocked out most of the residual light, darkening the hallway. He marched toward Shepard, carrying a grenade launcher that was nearly as thick as his torso.

"You," he snarled, looking down on her, "I hope you are less trouble to me alive than when you were dead."

"Tazzik, please," another, much smaller salarian said behind him. "We didn't request your services to cause trouble."

Tazzik sneered as he turned away. "I'll be over here," he said, strapping his weapon to his back. He stopped to size up Garrus before striding back down the makeshift hallway.

Liara and the other salarian approached. "Shepard, this is the Broker's contact, Dr. Polidus Aetheon, STG. Doctor, this is Commander Shepard."

He extended his hand to Shepard, a slight smile on his face. "Just Polidus, please. It's an honor to meet you, Commander. STG has pulled me from my previous assignment of helping Dr. Heplorn 'maintain' his labs to help instead with other projects to defend against the Reapers. However, I was informed of your situation and wanted to help."

"Liara said you were working on some kind of cure for Kepral's Syndrome while you were on Omega with Maelon?" Shepard asked.

Polidus nodded. "Among a few other projects, yes. Kepral's Syndrome is caused by a mutation in the gene that allows drell to breathe properly. The gene, transmembrane conductance regulator 9, or TCR9 as we call it, regulates ion movement across the epithelial membranes. The most common mutation in TCR9 is the deletion of three nucleotides within the 306th position of the protein."

Liara gasped. "Three nucleotides...that's the difference between life and death with this disease?"

"Yes, Doctor. Three simple nucleotides are the agents necessary for proper breathing to be substantiated," he said.

"What were you able to do?" she asked.

"An early gene therapy was developed where a vector adeno-virus was used to provoke an immune response and destroy the broken cells. The hopes were that new cells would self-correct. "

Liara paced in thought. "But if the body wasn't strong enough to have these genes destroyed..."

"If the antibodies were not strong enough, then the patient would be killed by the virus itself before the new cell growth could occur," he finished.

"A cure that kills," Shepard mused.

"Unfortunately, Commander, yes. We weren't having a high enough success rate."

"How bad?" she asked.

"Only 15 percent of patients were able to see sustainable protein improvement. The problem was that very few cells were able to regenerate and express the new proteins on their own. It wasn't effective enough to be considered a viable solution."

"If you don't mind my asking, Polidus, what virus would you infect your patients with that was so devastating?" Liara asked.

"A nonenveloped icosahedral virus."

Garrus scratched his head. "The rest of us don't speak doctor."

"He'd give them a cold," Liara translated.

"Essentially, Dr. T'Soni, yes. It is the fastest way to allow the virus to enter the lungs. But as I said, it wasn't working. We received the additional research, however, that allowed us to explore other avenues," Polidus replied.

"Other research," Liara asked, "from where?"

Polidus looked at her with surprise. "Oh, he didn't tell you? Then perhaps it is best left unsaid."

"Where?" Shepard demanded, towering over him.

"Commander, Commander, please, now now now," Polidus stammered. Tazzik began to reach for the grenade launcher strapped against his back. Garrus grasped his weapon as well, eyeing Tazzik. Polidus waved them off. "I just assumed that if he had wanted you to know, he would have told you. I suppose it doesn't really matter now."

"Who?" Liara and Shepard asked in unison.

He hesitated before answering quietly. "Once we had determined the virus approach to be unsatisfactory, Dr. Solus was the one that had sent us files to attempt another method. They were very basic, but it was enough to get us started."

Shepard looked at him with disbelief. "Mordin sent you data?"

Polidus nodded. "Of course. It was Dr. Solus who gave us this assignment in the first place. The information he sent us- - he had theorized that by developing synthesized correction codons, that we could counteract the mutations of TCR9."

"What did you discover?" Liara prodded.

"You see, these damaged genes are shortened; stunted in their growth and no longer able to develop normally. Dr. Solus believed that with the correction codons, we could insert a fully synthesized TCR9 gene, and target the truncated proteins," he explained.

"But what does that mean, exactly?" Shepard asked.

"It means, Commander, we could in a sense teach the proteins how to regenerate properly again with a...template, if you will. The codons would allow the genes to begin expressing again as full-length proteins."

"So it's permanent. An actual cure, not just a treatment?" Shepard asked.

"It would eliminate the mutation. And with the mutation gone, there is no reason to assume that the genes would cease to function normally again," he said.

"Did he test it? Maelon, that is," Liara asked.

"Yes, but only on lab samples. We hadn't tested it inside of anyone before we were forced to abandon the labs on Omega. But the samples showed a recovery rate of 92.999 percent."

"No matter how advanced?" Shepard asked.

"No matter how advanced," he confirmed. "When teaching the protein how to generate again, it doesn't matter how damaged it was in the past," he said.

"Do you have any access to the codons? Can you take a look at our friend on the Citadel?" Liara asked.

Polidus shrugged. "I'm afraid I can't help you there, Doctor. The research is with Dr. Heplorn; I didn't take any hard data with me once I was recalled for another assignment. However, the team that is currently dispatched with him should be able to provide you with some results."

"Where can we find him?" Shepard asked.

"He's on Veles. I'll give you their location and contact the current chief officer so he'll know to expect you."

Shepard shook his hand. "Thank you, Polidus. I can't begin to express to you my own gratitude."

"It's the least I could do for you, Commander. Dr. Heplorn speaks of you with the utmost respect. And I know Dr. Solus considered you a good friend. I am happy to help any friend of his."

"We'll contact the Broker if we have any results to report," Liara said.

"Good. If you do have any, STG will put out the word to Kahje. Now, if you'll excuse me, Tazzik and I need to return to Sur'Kesh. Be well, Commander Shepard. And your colleagues as well."

* * *

Shepard approached the panel of windows along the docking bay. A few civilians filtered past, but otherwise the area outside Bay D24 was empty.

Liara peered around the docks as she wrung her hands. "We...we can wait a bit here," she said.

Shepard leaned on the railing by the window. Her head was hung low, and she looked up occasionally to watch another ship pass by. "No. We should get going. We have the information we need," she said.

Garrus touched her shoulder. "Really, Shepard. It's okay if we wait. There's time."

She shook her head. "No. The Reapers won't wait forever. Come on. Once we have the cure, we'll just have to hurry back."

* * *

Shepard headed to the bridge of the Normandy with Garrus and Liara in tow.

"Shepard," EDI said. Joker barely glanced up from his controls; he waived his greeting from the pilot's seat.

"Joker, I need you to get us to Veles," Shepard said as she typed on her omni-tool. "I've uploaded the specific coordinates I need. EDI, have Cortez ready a shuttle."

"Commander, did you find what you needed?" EDI inquired.

Shepard closed her omni-tool and looked at EDI. "More or less," she said.

"That doesn't sound very reassuring," Joker mumbled.

"What?" Shepard snapped.

"Uh, I said the coordinates are very _enduring_," Joker exclaimed loudly. "Yeah, very, uh, good directions."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Fine. I'll be in my quarters; call me on the comm when we're close. Once we're there, I'll have Cortez drop me off."

Liara blocked her path as the commander turned to leave. "I'm going with you," she said.

"Me too," Garrus chimed. "We're not letting you go it alone down there."

Shepard crossed her arms. "We don't need a full crew on the ground. I need to find Maelon, get the cure, and get the hell out."

Garrus mimicked her stance. "And the last time you decided to go it alone, you ended up compromised and nearly killed. We won't let you, Shepard. Not this time."

Joker and Shepard exchanged glances as she mulled. "Hey, don't look at me," Joker said, throwing his hands into the air. "I just drive this taxi; I don't have any say as to who gets out when it stops."

Garrus and Liara waited, looking at her with determination. Shepard frowned. "Fine," she sulked. "Joker, alert the three of us when you're close to our location."

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he replied.

* * *

Shepard retreated to her quarters, watching the silence of her room through the blue glow cast by the aquarium. Her fish swam among one another, fins swishing in a collective work of improvised syncopation. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of everything in her mind trying to stamp out the stillness. It tried to pull her down, weighting her feet to the spot where she stood. It ached in her eyes, her arms, out through her fingers and all the way down into her toes. It could consume her if she let it, she knew. She focused instead on the smooth hum of the ship, where it was safer for her thoughts to be, back in the simplicity of the moment. Breaking her mediation, she tossed her gun on the desk. It slid and spun across the table, bumping into a photo of her and her mother. They were hugging, smiling on Shepard's graduation day. She reached over, adjusting the frame but her gaze stopped on the image behind it. She picked up the second photo as if it were too delicate to touch. Her fingers traced along the cheekbone of the drell before she replaced the frame on the desk.

Her hamster chirped from the ledge above. His face was pressed against the glass cage, as if straining to see the image himself. Shepard laughed softly as she reached in and cradled the hamster in her hand. "Here," she said, holding him above the photo. "See? It's a picture of Thane." He squeaked a reply. She scratched behind his ears; he lifted his head so she could scratch under his chin as well. Laughing, she obliged and asked, "Are you hungry little guy?"

She placed him back inside his cage, then reached for the food container, stopping over the bowl. It was already filled. The hamster chirped at her again as she surveyed the room. Looking past the comm screen, she could make out a figure hunched over on the sofa. She walked toward it, her pace quickening. Standing over him, she could see it was Thane. His elbows rested on his thighs, his face hidden in his hands. Shepard lowered herself next to him. With her hand resting along his back, she could feel him periodically struggle to inhale. Slowly, he sat upright, unwilling to look at her, both of them reluctant to speak. She touched his hand but he pulled back, instead reaching to embrace her in the darkness. They held onto each other, simply listening to one another breathe.


	4. Han

Han

by writeowl3

The lavender sky was painted with swirling clouds that drifted low over the mountains. Shepard surveyed the horizon; ragged peaks and valleys saturated the landscape and appeared to continue on forever in the distance. Garrus walked beside Shepard, his feet sinking deeper into the snow drifts with each step. "It's almost...peaceful here," he mused, "Cold as hell though. The more we walk, the worse it gets. Although I bet that skyline would inspire a few of your playwrights, Liara."

"Indeed," Liara replied as she followed behind Garrus. "Although the location is no accident. We're deep in the mountains and with the temperatures and weather, it would be difficult to pick up on any activity here with normal scanners. Even back then, the krogan knew what they were doing here."

"The krogan?" Garrus asked.

Liara nodded. "An ancient krogan warlord constructed a base here during the Rebellions. It was well hidden, only accidentally discovered not long ago with all of its secrets intact."

A light snow was falling around them as they walked. The flakes swirled, larger and faster, filling their tracks. The frozen crust crunched beneath Liara's feet; the sound made her shiver inside of her environment suit.

"Commander," Cortez called out over the communication channel. "I'm picking up some weather patterns moving in from the north."

"How bad?" Shepard asked.

"It's hard to say, but it's blowing through quick. Real quick. So I'd go with bad enough."

Shepard adjusted her sidearm as she climbed a section of rock. "Got it. Keep monitoring it and let me know of any changes. Wait there. We'll make this quick," she responded.

"Understood, Commander," he said.

"I don't get it. Shouldn't we have been there by now? Where is this base?" Garrus asked, climbing onto the plateau.

Shepard accessed her omni-tool. "These are the exact coordinates Polidus provided me with. We should be right in front of it."

Garrus surveyed the crystalline landscape. "Hmm. Just rocks and snow as far as I can see."

Liara walked forward and looked down, resting her knee in the ice. Dragging her fingertips through the snow, she studied the ground. "That's because you're not looking in the right place," she said.

Stepping backward, she struck the ground with her biotics. The mass of energy easily cracked the ice and she pushed a few pieces away, revealing a section of interlocking doors. Liara pressed a command into the access panel. The doors responded, opening as the coating of ice crackled and crumbled away. A mist of snow settled on the steps of carved rock that led into the darkness below.

Garrus thumped the side of his helmet. "Well I'll be damned."

Liara stood with a smug smile on her face as she extended her hand toward the opening. "After you," she said.

* * *

They made their way through the caverns of the underground base, their path lit by only the lights affixed to their weapons. Liara stopped, nearly kicking an old shield as she walked beneath an archway. She knelt down and touched the broken and rusted metal, brushing her fingers over the large gashes cut into the shield's surface; flecks of rust fell like sand. "Incredible," she breathed.

"A rusty old shield with a blood smear," Garrus said. "What's so incredible about that? The krogan have left a million like that all over the galaxy for centuries."

Liara turned, her fingers splayed over the marking. "It's raw truth about who these people were and the many facets of what they were capable of. And while I've always looked from a researcher's perspective at thousands of artifacts like this one, my mind instead turns to other things when I see it. It makes me wonder, now more than ever."

"About what?" Garrus asked.

"Will we be just another bloody relic in the ruins of civilization? Or will we be a remembered past in someone's future? Who will be there to share our story? Or will it be silenced, lost forever?" she asked.

Garrus knelt down next to her. "We're not there yet. We've got a lot more to do before worrying about who's writing the ending to all of this."

Liara smiled slightly, her eyes barely illuminated in the dim light. "Maybe so. But if Javik's people have taught us anything, it's that simply trying to outlast extermination is not an option. History will be written again by the victors."

"I try not to over think that part of the equation too much," Garrus replied.

"Why's that?" Liara asked.

"We've learned from the Protheans' mistakes and for better or worse, we're making our own way with the resources we've got. We're going to use everything we have; not to survive but to live. If that's still not enough at the end of the day, then I can assure you that I'll at least make my smear a damn memorable one."

"Really," Liara scoffed.

Garrus chuckled. "Look, Liara, I get that you need to look ahead, to anticipate. But if that's all you focus on, you won't be able to adjust your strategy as the variables in front of you change. Worse even, you'll miss the opportunities that are right in front of you."

"Opportunity will come soon enough," Shepard said from ahead of them. "But we need to stay focused right now."

"Where should we go?" Garrus asked, helping Liara to her feet. "These catacombs are like a maze; they could lead anywhere."

"This place was pretty thoroughly cleaned out when it was discovered. Still, I suppose some sections could be dangerous," Liara replied, accessing her omni-tool. "This way," she said, pointing to the right. "There's a power source emanating from this direction."

They followed Liara until arriving at a metal door. It opened, revealing a salarian in the entry way. "Commander Shepard," he huffed, crossing his arms. "It's about time you got here."

Through the corridor, they entered a chamber with a vaulted ceiling, arched with cathedral-like stateliness. It was framed with metal beams that covered the natural stone, nearly erasing it from view. The room was outfitted with rows of computer terminals, workbenches, microscopes, and walls of chemicals, looking every part the science lab. The salarian typed away on his datapad as he stood in front of them. "Dr. Dolon; Polidus informed me of the nature of your arrival," he said.

Shepard held her helmet and extended her other hand. "Good to meet you, Doctor."

She stood there, her hand outstretched as he continued to type in silence. Shepard glanced at Liara, who scratched her head and shrugged. "You can barely tell we're in the same place," Liara said lightly. "I would have no idea that we were still in an ancient underground facility."

"The honeycomb layout of this base isn't ideal, but we've adjusted the main room to fit our needs. A lab needs to be pristine. Sterile. It's not perfect here, but given the situation out there- -" Dr. Dolon looked up and stared at Shepard's outstretched hand. "It works," he finished.

He returned to his typing. "We're very busy here, Commander. Our top priority is working on research for Reaper defense. Albeit, I _assume_ that is still our top priority."

Shepard cleared her throat, stepping forward. "Of course," she replied. "But we have a few other needs along the way. Polidus felt that your team could be of service."

Dr. Dolon looked up at her, squinting. He sniffed. "Yes," he said, tilting his head. "Follow me."

"What's the situation out there, Commander?" Dr. Dolon asked as he led them past the various lab spaces.

"Hasn't STG been briefing you?" Shepard asked.

"Yes," he said, "but I wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth, so to speak."

"We're holding still in key locations," Shepard replied. "But we've got to make some headway soon. We're counting on the scientific community to lead us to crucial breakthroughs."

Dr. Dolon nodded. "So I've heard. I offered to assist Polidus with his portion of the project, but 'we' felt it was best to break portions of the research into strategic locations."

"So if one location is compromised, the entire project isn't lost," Garrus said.

"Precisely," Dr. Dolon replied. "STG has determined that with the amount of research we are amassing against Reaper tech, it would be less risky this way. "

"Research such as?" asked Liara.

Dr. Dolon paused. "I'm afraid I am not at liberty to share that information with you. Confidentiality issues, you understand. But when STG receives our reports, I'm sure they will brief you with the necessary intel."

Liara reached forward, pulling on Dr. Dolon's shoulder as he jerked to a halt. "Research," she repeated plainly.

He studied her expression. "Finding a way to counteract the husk assimilation techniques. And a contingency plan." He wrenched away from her grip. "STG will provide you with the proper intel when necessary," he snapped.

"Dr. Dolon, no need to be rude," another scientist said as he approached, "These are our allies."

"Commander," he said, shaking Shepard's hand.

"Maelon," she said.

He waved her forward. "This way, Commander Shepard. I have the codon formulation equations and completed serum you need over here. Did you receive my recent correspondence?" Maelon asked.

"Yes," Shepard replied. "I got your note."

Maelon nodded. "Thank you again for saving my life. When Dr. Solus presented me with the opportunity to pay back my debt to you, I immediately accepted."

"How did you get off of Omega?" Shepard asked.

"The STG team that was sent to keep watch and 'assist' with my work. Though we did have some unexpected assistance from the leader of the Talons."

"Talons?" Shepard asked.

"A mercenary group on Omega," he replied. "That's not important. What is, is that I am so very glad that you were able to cure the genophage with my work, Commander. I am not proud of what suffering I caused. I realize that now. But I am glad that it wasn't for nothing."

Shepard stopped. "I wasn't the one who finished the cure to the genophage. Or the one who administered it."

Maelon nodded. "Of course. I was so sorry to hear about the loss of Dr. Solus in the end. He was a great man with many mistakes."

"I believe he was an even greater man for righting them," Shepard said.

"True," Maelon replied, "I should not have doubted him. I was angry. But I see now, that I was wrong about him. He did the right thing. And I will always remember him for that."

"I don't mean to ask for your work and run, but we need to get back to the ship. If you bring your serum with you, I'd like to talk more on the Normandy. See how you've been doing," she said.

Maelon reached behind a technician, picking up a vial of clear liquid. "Thank you, Commander. I...well, would welcome the opportunity. Truly, it would be good to spend some time speaking with you. Sharing more with you. Unfortunately, STG has me on lockdown here and- -"

They were all thrown to the ground by the force of a large explosion in the lab entrance. Maelon cradled the vial in his hands as he caught his breath. Chaos erupted among the scientists as people ran for cover. The tapping of gunfire could be heard even though the bullets were obscured by smoke. Shepard reached up, flipping the table in front of her, sending a rainbow of chemicals crashing to the ground. "Take cover!" she yelled.

Reaching for her sidearm, she peered over the right side of the table. "Garrus, can you see anything? Is it Cerberus?" Shepard yelled to him.

Garrus and Liara were crouched behind another table a few feet away. He peered down the scope of his sniper rifle. Through the smoke, he could make out a pair of hollow electrified eyes. "It's...a husk," he whispered. He pulled the trigger, watching through the scope as the bullet plunged through the husk's eye socket, splattering brain matter on the wall behind it. It barely groaned as its head snapped backward and the body flopped to the ground. Garrus pulled back behind the table and looked at Shepard.

"Reapers!" he yelled to her.

Dr. Dolon crawled next to Shepard and grabbed her by the collar. "You! You led them here!" he cried.

She pushed him away. "Are you crazy? What the hell is wrong with you!"

"You compromised this base!" he snapped back at her.

"How? There was nothing on our scanners. They had to have been here already!"

"Traitor!"

Shepard sneered at him. "Maybe you're the one that's the traitor!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Maelon yelled, pulling them apart with his free hand. "This isn't the time to fling accusations. None of it matters if we don't get out of here!"

"Maelon," Shepard said, "they're bottlenecked at the entrance. We're trapped from here; we need another way out."

Maelon searched on his omni-tool. "If we can push back the first wave, we should have enough time to take this path and exit out the back end of the mountain. That should get us far enough away to make an escape."

Shepard nodded and yelled to her team, "Hold your position! We fall back on my signal!"

"Understood!" Liara replied.

They opened fire on the Reapers, shredding the bodies of husks to pieces. Shepard shot the arm from a cannibal while Liara released a singularity field on a group of scions followed by a warp attack that sent pieces of scion flesh flying. A marauder and a group of cannibals climbed over the pile of body parts. "They keep coming!" Liara called out as she watched more Reapers flood the entrance.

A group of marauders rushed at the team. The team fired back, picking off the marauders one by one. A few made it past their bullets and one reached over the table, grabbing Shepard. Garrus lay low on the ground and fired his rifle, shooting the jowl of the marauder off. Dazed, it stumbled backward. Shepard let out a guttural cry and extended her omni-blade, thrusting it deep into the marauder's chest as it released its grip on her. She twisted the blade, hard, before pulling it out.

"You alright?" Garrus called out.

She nodded, standing. "Come on, let's move!"

Shepard, Garrus, Liara, and Dr. Dolon raced to follow Maelon toward the door at the other end of the room, shooting cannibals out of their way. An explosion came from the ceiling, sending a group of cannibals falling into their pathway. Shepard sliced open the one in front of her. Liara sent two more flying with a warp field. Shepard turned, only to see another cannibal scream as it leapt for Maelon and pulled him to the ground. She watched as the vial of liquid tumbled from his fingers and shattered on the ground. "No," she whispered. "No!" she screamed, running forward as the cannibal tore Maelon's weapon from his fingers and shot him in the chest three times. Shepard gunned the cannibal down, screaming the whole way. She stopped over its lifeless body and slammed her omni-blade through its skull.

"Shepard, look out!" Liara yelled as a grenade exploded beside them. Garrus and Liara were blown backward, slamming into the wall. Shepard and Maelon were tossed toward the exit like tumbleweeds blown by the wind.

Shepard moaned, holding her head. She felt the warmth of her own blood against her cheek. She looked around, calling out for her team, unable to see them through her blurred vision. She crawled forward, reaching Maelon's body. His chest has been ripped open, blood pooling around him. "Maelon," Shepard choked, "Maelon, hold on. Hold on!"

She reached down and attempted to apply pressure to the open flesh that rippled like butterfly wings with each breath his body took. He grabbed her hand. "There is no time. This host is near death," he whispered, his voice ragged and deep.

Shepard blinked and looked down at him. "Maelon?" she whispered.

The salarian's body heaved again. "This lump of palpitating flesh is all that is left of him, my host. There isn't much time."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I am a symbiont. And I need a new host or I will die. Please. I am willing to make an exchange in order to become one with your body."

"You're crazy," she said, "There's no way I'd let some alien thing take control of me."

"We do not control," he rasped, "only coexist. Please. I mean you no harm. I did not keep from being annihilated by the Reapers for this many millennia only to die here, now."

Shepard's eyes widened. "Millennia? What are you?" she asked.

"I am that which they most fear. Please," he said.

"How can I trust you?"

"Because there is a common enemy that is greater than each of us we must destroy. And I have something you need."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"I retain all host memories. I have the cure you seek. Or are you willing in the end to destroy the one thing you wish most to save?" he asked, pulling tighter on her hand.

"I can't agree to something like this until you tell me more," she said.

"There isn't enough time," he said, his voice harsh. "You must decide!"

She stared into his eyes, her chest heavy as she watched his breathing shorten. "Do it," she whispered.

The salarian body groaned as a synthetic spindle pierced through and emerged from the back of his neck. Shepard reached forward and grasped the tiny spider-like being in her hands, watching as its red flesh pulsated against her skin. It reached upward and then crawled up her shoulder and onto her back. She gasped, nearly screaming as the being made an incision at the nape of her neck. She felt it push through her flesh. Felt each metallic leg wrap around her spine. There was a burning sensation in her brain; a pulsating, searing pain in her skull that made her fall to the ground. She felt herself panicking, unable to scream as she heard a flood of words within her mind. She could not discern one voice from another. Murmurs. And then as the noise quieted, she felt him there, with her; connected. She waited for him to say something, but the words ceased. Only silence as the perspiration dripped down her neck.

"Commander," she heard someone say. Then again, a voice. "Shepard!"

She felt Liara's hands on her shoulders, then by her head. "Goddess, you're bleeding!" Liara cried.

Liara sealed the wound along the back of Shepard's neck. She looked over at Maelon. "What do we do now?" she asked.

Shepard pulled herself up, then reached into Maelon's pocket and pulled out a chip. "We've got what we came for. Let's go," she said.

"But how- -" Liara started.

"Don't worry about it! He told me how to use it. Let's go!" Shepard said. "Get Garrus and whoever else you can find."

Liara grabbed Garrus and a wounded Dr. Dolon as she shot a rampaging husk. Shepard reached into a nearby cabinet of chemicals. She poured one inside of a Petri dish and closed it before placing it on a table.

Liara and the others approached her. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Making sure that no one follows us," Shepard replied. She took another chemical in a metallic vial and then poured it on top of the dish. It began to smoke as it ate through the glass. "When this burns through- -"

"It'll be a catastrophic explosion." Dr. Dolon finished, hobbling towards her.

"Sounds like we need to make this quick then," Garrus said. He heaved Dr. Dolon over his shoulder. "No offense, Doctor, but it'll be faster this way."

"Come on!" Shepard said. They ran, following her out the doorway and down the darkened stone pathway.

* * *

They exited the base of the mountain and out into the snow. Shepard watched as the gusts of snow whipped around her helmet. "Cortez!" she called out over the communication channel. "Cortez can you hear me? We've exited somewhere outside away from our previous location. Are you out there? Can you hear me?"

She heard a crackle over the channel when the ground began to rumble. "Keep going!" Garrus yelled. They continued to run from the base as an explosion ripped through the side of the mountain, sending large chunks of rock flying in their direction.

"Watch out!" Shepard cried.

Liara stumbled, narrowly missing being struck by a rock the size of three krogan. "You okay?" Shepard asked, stopping to help Liara to her feet. Liara nodded, but she looked up at Shepard with a panicked expression. "The ground...it's still shaking."

"Shockwaves?" Shepard asked.

"No," Liara said. She looked upward as a river of rock and snow began catapulting down the mountainside toward them. "Avalanche!" she cried.

"Oh, come on!" Garrus yelled.

They ran away from the direct path of the landslide. Climbing a section of rock, they watched as the wave of snow and ice flowed past beneath them.

"Commander? Commander?" came the crackle of Cortez's voice.

"Cortez! Can you get here?" Shepard asked.

"I can't...position...hard to fly..."

"Say again?" she asked.

"...find your position... too hard... storm." he said.

"You have to try!" she said. "I'll set a flare on our location. Look for the flare!"

She opened a flare, its red glow reflecting on the snow that whipped around them. They clamored toward a section of rock that shielded them from direct weather. "Keep him warm," she said to Garrus as he pulled Dr. Dolon from his shoulder. "He can breathe with the mask, but without a suit, he'll die out here if he's overexposed."

"Commander," Dr. Dolon said between his teeth chattering. "I suppose I'm in the unfortunate position of needing to offer you my gratitude for saving me."

Shepard shrugged and pointed at Garrus. "Don't thank me; thank Garrus. I was half inclined to leave your sorry ass behind," she said.

Dr. Dolon looked up sheepishly at Garrus, who nodded at him.

"Yes, well...I don't understand," Dr. Dolon said, "what did they want?"

Shepard shook her head. "I don't know."

"That wasn't a random attack. They might have been after us," Liara said, "Or the research. What were you really doing down there?"

The shuttle appeared through the whirlwind of snow. "I told you," Dr. Dolon groaned as he pressed his hand against his bleeding shoulder, "a contingency plan."

* * *

"Shepard, what the hell was going on down there? I've been trying to call you on the comm for over an hour now," Joker said as she approached him on the bridge.

"What's the situation?" Shepard asked.

He looked up from his controls and stopped. "Oh, man, you look like hell. What happened?"

"Situation, Joker!"

"Okay, sheesh! Someone's got her panties in a twist today. The SSV Shasta has been sending out a distress message from within the Horse Head Nebula. It sounds like they were under attack and boarded by Cerberus," he said.

"What were they doing out there?" she asked.

"I don't know, I left my tarot cards in my other ship. You want me to try some tea leaves?" he huffed.

"Have you tried to contact them?" she said, ignoring his comment.

"Yeah, but no response, just the distress call over and over. Doesn't look like anyone has responded yet and we're the closest ship. Should I set a course?" Joker asked as he began to type the coordinates of the Shasta into the control panel.

"Not yet," Shepard said.

He stopped. "Commander?"

"I need to get a few things taken care of here before we run off into the middle of a fight." She paused. "Seventeen minutes," she said.

"Ma'am?"

"I need at least 17 minutes for the chemical compounds to react before you make the jump, Joker."

"Wait, wait, compounds? I thought you were an expert on guns, not chemistry. Look, all due respect, they may not have 17 minutes."

"That's an order," she said and left the bridge.

Joker turned to watch as she walked away. He frowned. "Aye, aye," he said quietly.

* * *

Shepard turned as Dr. Chakwas entered the lab. "Commander," Dr. Chakwas said, "what do you need?"

"Here," Shepard said, handing her a vial of clear liquid. "This is the cure for Kepral's Syndrome. I need you to administer it to Thane immediately."

Dr. Chakwas took the vial from her and stared at her with disbelief. "How did you- -"

"I got everything from Maelon. You need to induce a coma before administering. It should take 24 to 48 hours for the treatment to be complete. The rest of the information you'll need is on this chip," Shepard said, placing it in the doctor's other hand. "Guard that with your life."

"He'll get the best care," Dr. Chakwas replied.

The door to the lab opened and Thane entered. He approached Shepard and then touched her bloodied cheek.

"Thane," Dr. Chakwas said, "I'll be in the medical bay for when you are ready." He nodded as she left.

Shepard smiled. "No sneaking up on me this time?"

Thane laughed softly, catching his breath. "I don't think I'd have the strength today. Besides, I would lose the element of surprise if you're always expecting it."

He surveyed the gash on her temple, but she pulled away. "I take it that it was not a simple extraction down there. They said you had been injured."

"Nothing serious," she said, her voice flat.

"What happened?"

"A Reaper ambush."

He frowned. "How?"

She turned to clean up the supplies on the table. "We're not sure."

"Do you think they were working with the salarians?"

"Unlikely."

"What could they have wanted?"

"I said we're not sure," she snapped. Thane initially bristled at her tone, but he reached for her and pulled her toward him. He looked into her eyes. "There is such a sadness in your eyes. Why?" he asked.

"I'm sorry; I'm just...worried. Are you ready?" she asked instead.

"I am still conflicted. Unsure if this is truly the right path to take. But my options are limited. And I am not ready to leave you," he said.

"STG was confident in their findings," she responded.

"If this doesn't work- -"

"It will work," she said.

"The odds still feel insurmountable," he said, "But if this does work- -I am ready to live the life you will have given back to me. And then I will be ready to fight by your side again. If you'll have me there." He stroked her cheek, barely touching her lips to his own.

"I have missed you so much. The memories alone are no longer enough," he said.

"Then I guess we'll just have to work on making some new ones," she said with a wry smile.

He smiled back at her. "Thank you," he said, "for never giving up, my Siha."

"I'll be there when you wake up," she said, embracing him.

* * *

Aboard the Shasta, Shepard and Garrus eventually made their way to the bridge. The captain was slumped by the helm, barely breathing, his fingers on the controls.

"Captain?" she asked.

His breathing rasped as he raised his eyes at her."I didn't think anyone was coming. Was trying to auto destruct. Take those Cerberus bastards with us if we had to." He wheezed while pressing his hand against the gash in his neck.

Shepard and Garrus reached over and helped the captain lie of the floor. "Stay calm, we'll get you out of here," Garrus said. He reached over to seal the wound shut. The man tried to swallow, choking and spitting up blood. He tried to laugh, but all that came out was a hard gurgling sound.

"Don't move," Shepard said.

"Cerberus scum. We... weren't even supposed to be here," the captain sputtered.

"What do you mean?" Shepard asked.

"The Orizaba. Was supposed to survey this area, but she was dry docked with repairs. Weren't even supposed to be...supposed to be here," he choked.

Garrus and Shepard looked at one another as the captain touched her arm. Blood dripped around his fingers and down her wrist.

"Tell them," he said, his breathing faster and harder.

"Stay with us," Shepard said, her voice shaking.

"Tell," he said again, "them...so sorry." His grip slipped away; his fingers left a trail of blood on Shepard's arm. She stood, looking at him. Unable to move.

"There's a few wounded on the lower level," Garrus said quietly. "I'll prep them to bring aboard the Normandy. You should alert Dr. Chakwas."

Shepard nodded, looking back at the captain's body as they walked away.

* * *

Shepard stood over Thane, watching as each breath pulsed away on the medical equipment. "He's in stable condition, Commander. The serum has been administered. Now, we just wait," Dr. Chakwas said as she entered the room.

"Is it working?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Chakwas nodded. "From what I can tell, yes. His breathing has been improving, as are his vital signs. But I imagine it will take time for him to fully recover."

"Is it alright if I stay with him?" Shepard asked.

"I don't see any harm in it. In fact, it would probably do the both of you some good," Dr. Chakwas said. She studied Shepard as they stood there. "May I take a look at your own wound first, Commander?"

Shepard unconsciously rubbed the back of her neck, feeling along the lines of the cut. "I'm fine, Doctor, please," she said. Dr. Chakwas touched her neck and felt along the mark. Shepard stiffened to her touch.

"Does it hurt?" Dr. Chakwas asked.

"No," Shepard said, pulling away. "I'm fine. Really."

"It's actually healed remarkably fast," Dr. Chakwas said, "especially for how deep the wound was according to Liara. You know, if you don't mind, Commander, I'd like to run a few diagnostic tests on you. Make sure your implants are working properly."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but I'm tired. Is there any chance I can take a rain check? I'd just really like to be with Thane right now."

Dr. Chakwas smiled softly. "I understand, Commander. Stop by my quarters for a drink later, if you feel up to it. We haven't talked in a while."

"Of course. Thanks for your help, Doctor."

"Anytime," Dr. Chakwas said and left the room.

Shepard pulled a chair next to Thane's bed. She sat with a book in her lap and began reading aloud. "Love binds people too, in sacred bonds where chaste lovers are met, and friends cement their trust and friendship. How happy is mankind, if the love that orders the stars above rules, too, in your hearts."

She stopped suddenly, looking at Thane. His skin was pale, but his chest moved with rhythmic certainty. She touched his hand, watching him sleep.

"Please...you've got to fight this. I need you here," she whispered. The room was silent except for the steady beep of the monitor, but it was drowned out by a sudden overwhelming feeling of relief as she felt the words: _I have survived_.


	5. Amalgamate

Amalgamate

by writeowl3

Shepard wandered through the mist, past the trees whose delicate leaves rustled in the gloom. She had been here before. Whispers of familiar voices exhaled around her, but no one was there. She was alone. Laughter lilted above the dense air, changing the melody that the trees danced to. Intrigued, she followed the small sound of joy until she found the child with the sandy-colored hair and wide blue eyes. Instinctively, Shepard reached out for him as a man emerged from the shadows, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. The child looked up at the figure, startled.

"Will you leave us for a moment?" the man asked. His voice was low, almost soft, but it filled the void around them. The boy's breathing quickened as he nodded, and he faded into the mist. The man adjusted his uniform, the gold bars shining on the shoulders of his dress blues. Shepard's extended hand shook as he smiled at her.

"Dad?" she asked.

His arms were stiff as he hugged her. He moved to touch her face. The rough calluses on his fingertips scratched against her cheek. "How are you?" he asked.

Shepard placed her hand over his. She looked into his eyes. "You..." she whispered.

Grabbing his wrist and twisting it away from her face, Shepard kneed him in the groin before pulling her sidearm. He fell to his knees as the cold metal of her gun rested against his temple.

"...are _not_ my father," she finished, narrowing her eyes as she watched him.

The man laughed. The sound rumbled and echoed around them, shaking the ground. He disappeared, suddenly appearing beside her. "We...I...underestimated you. No matter. The bonding is a learning process. My appearance was not intended to deceive; familiar personas from memory have eased the transition in the past. But you are beyond such a necessity. It will make our process...more efficient."

Shepard watched as the image of her father melted into a shadowy outline of a man, his face concealed except for the occasional glimpse of golden eyes reflected in the light. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Perhaps it would be more accurate to ask _what_ I am. We have been suspended within the universe; part of everything and nothing."

"I don't understand," she said.

"We are invisible within the visible. Here...but never truly seen. We have evolved into a collection of experiences from hosts over many millennia: a collective of energy."

"But there has to be something...someone...that existed before. Some part that is actually _you_."

"Yes. Our species was once individuals. We did not always need a host to survive."

"What happened?"

He sighed. "A choice that was not of the Xianan."

"Xianan? You mean your people?" Shepard asked.

"The Xianan existed independently from all creatures before the Architects chose a different path for us." He cocked his head to the side, watching Shepard. "You've found one of them. Recently, too. Intriguing. We could find no trace of them ourselves. "

"The Leviathan," she breathed.

He nodded. "Before their Reapers arrived, we were used by them. Changed by them for their purposes. And when our existence no longer suited them, they set out to destroy us."

"Were you the first then? To be attacked by the Reapers?" she asked.

He paused. "We were among those in the First Cycle. Our symbiotic existence which had been our curse suddenly became our salvation. We joined with lesser beings at the far reaches of the galaxy. Emerging once the Repears returned to their dormancy in order to search out more sophisticated hosts. To search for an answer to stop the destruction during each cycle that followed."

"The Crucible. Is it yours?" Shepard asked.

"We have worked diligently over the millennia with many lost races, quietly adding our research to those of others," he said.

"Do you know how to use it?"

"We believe we have made distinct breakthroughs in this cycle," he replied carefully.

"You didn't answer my question," she said.

"We will do what we can in the time we have, Shepard. In the end, take solace that we will ensure the suffering endured will be answered for by our tormentors," he said, his voice rising. "We will avenge those whose cries can no longer be heard."

"Is this the only way I can speak to you? When I'm...here?" Shepard asked as she pointed toward the dark space around them.

"For now. As we are joined more permanently over time, we will become one being; one in thought," he said.

"Do you have a name?" she said.

He smiled. "So many questions, human. If you must know, I usually retain my host's name. But if it is easier, you may call me Daedalus. I am pleased to share a consciousness with you...Shepard."

A flood of voices began to fill her mind again, climbing in volume. She felt a biting pain; a throbbing that ached in her eyes. Daedalus approached her, a blood-red streak of color suddenly visible above his brow that traced the contour of his cheekbone. The tip of it curved inward, stopping just above his jaw and resembled a fang. He placed his hand along the back of her neck and watched as she fell to her knees.

* * *

Shepard awoke in her own bed, gasping until her chest hurt. The bed sheets were scrunched between her fists. As she sat upright, droplets of sweat traced down her back, saturating her camisole.

Shepard stumbled still half asleep into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face until her cheeks were numb. She stopped to stare at her reflection in the mirror, rubbing at the back of her neck; it did nothing to soothe the dull ache.

She walked back toward her bed, rubbing the towel over her face, when she felt a hand on her wrist. She jerked her arm free, blindly punching at her attacker while reaching for the knife holstered at her thigh. He caught her fist in midair and twisted the knife away from her other hand. The towel landed in a heap on the floor between them.

"That's not a very polite way to greet someone," Thane said, smirking at her while holding her knife.

Shepard stared, openmouthed. She snatched the knife away, her cheeks blazing. "Are you crazy? You're lucky I didn't kill you."

He laughed softly. "From where I'm standing, you'd have a better chance of it being the other way around."

Shepard was silent as she focused on the intense trembling in her hands, feeling the blood pulsate in her fingertips. She tossed the knife to the ground. Wrapping her arms around Thane, she rested her cheek against his, feeling the warmth of his skin. "Thane. I missed you," she said, choking on her words.

Thane stood, stunned for a moment, before he returned her embrace. "Siha, I..." he said, his voice faltering as he closed his eyes. He turned her face toward his, kissing her firmly with each breath.

* * *

Beneath the sheets, Shepard traced her fingertips along Thane's back. "Tell me about a memory," she said.

Thane shrugged. "I've shared many with you before. What specifically?" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "What about your parents? What were they like?"

"They were good people. Caring. Loving. Proud," he said. Thane closed his eyes. Thinking. Seeing.

"_Horizon of blue rolls silently beyond_

_hands pressed against the glass_

_sliding over the warm reflection_

_of daylight wrapped around her face_."

He breathed, as if awakening from a dream and sighed.

Shepard brushed her hand against his. "A memory of your mother?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, "we were in the Principalis that day to see the delegate at the Illuminated Primacy: the governing body of the hanar. Offering my service to them. I remember being inside the domed city, standing there by the giant walls of windows. Watching as her reflection moved so gracefully against the view of the water outside as we walked. My mother always wore her yellow headscarf for special occasions. It was her favorite one. After I was bound to my hanar family, I remember she reached down and hugged me. I pressed my face into her scarf as she whispered, 'Forever honor your family,' to me. At the time, I assumed she meant my hanar family...but now, I know she meant both."

"She sounds like a wise person," Shepard mused.

"She was. Her words still teach me to this day. I'm grateful for that," he said.

"Did she teach you how to slip into a room undetected, too?" Shepard teased.

"No," Thane laughed, "That was my father's expertise."

"How were you able to sneak up here anyways? Dr. Chakwas still wanted you under observation for a few more days," Shepard said, kissing his neck.

"I have my ways," he said.

"You bribed EDI, didn't you?" she asked.

"I can be quite persuasive," he said, smiling.

"I know," Shepard laughed.

"May I ask you a more serious question at the moment?" Thane asked. He pulled Shepard's knife from the nightstand. "Why do you need to sleep armed on your own ship?"

Shepard bristled. "Something I picked up in my infantry days."

"A habit I never noticed before," he lamented.

Shepard sat up, tucking the sheet around her chest. She rubbed her temples, attempting to subdue the throbbing behind her eyes. "It's just easier...helps me sleep better. That's all."

Thane sat up beside her. "You're not in any danger here," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Do not let your fears control you."

Shepard furrowed her brow, listening to the hum of the ship. Near the comm screen, the channel button began to blink. "I try not to. But it feels like we keep coming closer to losing everything. We've lost so much already," she said.

"There will be physical and emotional collapse no matter where we turn now. But no matter how you feel about these things, you cannot let it suffocate your reasoning," Thane replied.

"You mean what the Reapers did to the Protheans? The humans they liquefied to build another Reaper? You've been there with me, Thane. How can you tell me not to feel anything about what we've seen?" she asked.

Thane shook his head as he reached for her hand. "On the contrary. I understand how necessary it is to feel. To grieve for what has been lost. For what loss may come. But giving your emotions control - - letting grief consume you - - distorts your perceptions. We must seek out reason before letting ourselves be overcome by despair. Unchecked emotion will lead you even further into darkness. And eventually, it will destroy you. Mine nearly did," he said.

Shepard looked up at the skylight above her bed. She watched as the stars appeared to race by in streaks of light. "How can you find logic in a universe where it has ceased to exist? When people are being hunted, slaughtered by the millions? Destroyed simply because they are alive? How can you search for reason in a world that's more irrational, more unreasonable, than ever?" she asked.

Thane turned her face toward his. "Because chaos itself does not control. We are not victims of fate; we still have choices in which to live our lives. And I believe we must have faith and trust that there is more beyond the suffering we endure," he replied.

"How can faith alone explain away all the injustice that we've suffered?" she asked.

Thane placed his arm around Shepard, pulling her closer. She let the bed sheet fall away, letting it drape against her thigh. "Faith is not meant as a tool to justify evil, or madness, or cruelty. It is meant as a way to challenge the perceptions we hold and ascend our understanding of our universe. Through providence, fate, free will - - within these intricate bonds, we will find a joining of faith and reason. And we will discover the answers we need for this life and beyond." He kissed her softly.

"Shepard," called EDI over the comm, "I do not wish to disturb you. However, an urgent message is being received from Tali and the ground team on the planet's surface. It is coded as urgent."

Shepard and Thane looked up to see the pulsing of the comm channel. "I've got it EDI," Shepard said as she dressed.

* * *

"Tali?" Shepard called out as she stood in front of the comm screen in her quarters. Thane looked on from behind.

"Shepard!" Tali replied, her image distorted and pixilated on the screen.

"You're breaking up. What's going on down there?" Shepard asked, "I thought your team went down to secure the Prothean data."

"We were attempting to translate the data when the geth infiltrated the base. I don't know how they found us, but they've cut the main power and are trying to get inside. We're running out of weapons and they're blocking all escape routes. We need assistance," Tali said.

Shepard nodded, grabbing her helmet. "Hang tight, Tali. I'm on my way," she said and then closed the channel.

Thane followed Shepard as she exited her quarters. "I'm coming with you," he said.

She stopped, turning to look at him. "You're in no condition to fight," she replied.

"I'm perfectly capable," he insisted as he approached her.

"There's no reason to risk your life."

"I'm not going wait for you to march home from war."

"And I'm not going to let one of my crew be reckless with his life."

"I didn't take this treatment so that I could stop living. We are a team. Give the rest of us a chance to contribute once and a while. Listen to me. I am ready to fight with you again," he said, his gaze unwavering.

Shepard studied his expression and then nodded. "Come on."

* * *

On the planet's surface, Shepard, Thane, and EDI approached the base as a patrol of geth poured from the building's entrance. The three of them attacked the waves of troopers while using a load of shipping containers for occasional cover. Another unit of geth, headed by rocket troopers, emerged from the right of the base, attempting to flank Shepard and her team. One fired directly at them. "Move!" Shepard yelled as the rocket blazed toward their position.

They retreated backwards and leapt behind a cement barricade. The containers exploded on the rocket's impact. Another rocket soon followed, smashing into their cover. The cement fascia shuttered and cracked. EDI peeked around the corner, aiming her weapon at the geth pyro in the middle of the pack of troopers. She fired repeatedly until the canister on the pyro's back blistered open. A fireball erupted, and the explosion engulfed the surrounding geth. From the smoke, a lone trooper stumbled forward. Two bullets from Thane's sniper rifle punctured its chest cavity. The geth screeched as it collapsed, sending a plume of dust into the air.

"We need a better way inside than storming the front door. Got anything, EDI?" Shepard asked.

EDI nodded. "A moment," she said as she made her calculations. "If we continue left, the terrain elevates above the base. If we use the embankment, we should be able to maneuver undetected to the other entrance. It is not as heavily occupied by geth forces."

"Okay, let's move," Shepard replied.

They traveled low to the ground, taking care to stay behind cover as they circled around toward the back of the base.

"Can you get a better view?" Shepard asked Thane. He nodded and looked into his sniper scope.

"A single soldier on the perimeter," he said.

"The geth aren't that reckless," Shepard mused.

"Agreed," Thane said and handed her his rifle.

"What do you want me to do with this?" she asked as she grasped the barrel of the gun.

"I need a distraction. Although this time, I'm asking first," he said wryly. "Give me a minute. Then shoot the soldier you see."

Thane disappeared down the hillside. Shepard and EDI waited, watching for additional movement but saw nothing. Shepard lay down in the dirt and pressed the rifle into her chest, securing it between her shoulder blade and collar bone. Looking through the scope, she held her breath and then pulled the trigger. A lone crack erupted form the gun and a single bullet sliced through the shoulder of the soldier; it reeled backward.

"Damn it," Shepard muttered and looked into the scope again, firing additional bullets into its chest.

As it fell to the ground, three geth hunters decloaked around the dead machine. Thane appeared from behind them and attacked. He grabbed the first one, twisting its head off. The next hunter he hit with a warp field that sent it flying; the other, he shot its knee out with his secondary weapon, shattering the machinery. As shards of black metal splintered from its body, Thane bludgeoned it with the first hunter's head, repeatedly slamming the metal into its red beaming eye. The eye fractured from the force and Thane shot his weapon into the crack. Pieces of red glass fell around them like confetti. Another hunter suddenly appeared on his left. Thane tossed the first hunter's head to the ground, concentrating a biotic throw at the machine to knock it off balance. As it fell, he caught its arm in midair and twisted until the metal crimped and crunched. The hunter dragged its limp arm across the ground, scrambling to reach the gun it dropped. Thane reached the rifle first. He slammed the butt of the gun into the geth's chest, and then fired the weapon pointblank. The hunter barely whimpered as the red light in its eye faded. Thane looked up, surveying the area, when he suddenly disappeared around the edge of the building. A spark erupted from nowhere and another hunter appeared, convulsing as it fell to the ground. Thane stood above it, a fistful of wires sparking in his hand. He looked up the hill at Shepard.

"He is quite efficient," EDI observed.

Shepard chuckled. "Definitely hasn't lost his touch," she said as they made their way to follow him inside.

* * *

The core chamber of the base was dark, illuminated only by emergency lighting. EDI overrode the emergency lockdown commands on one of the doors, allowing Shepard and Thane to enter. They looked around, finding the ground team and the remaining scientists inside the room. Tali was tending to an injured scientist while Garrus and Liara worked on a control panel in the center of the room.

"You okay?" Shepard asked. Tali ushered Shepard and Thane to a corner.

"Shepard," Tali exclaimed, "We need to get these people out of here."

"Where's the data?" Shepard inquired.

Tali shook her head. "We're barely running on residual power as it is. It took everything we had to secure this area. The backup generators aren't functioning, and we can't afford a power amplification to complete the processing or we'll lose the lockdown control. We'll have to leave the data behind, Shepard. I'm sorry."

A loud explosion could be heard from behind the door next to Tali. She jumped back as another one caused the door to bulge outward. "We can't," Shepard snapped. "Leaving the data will give the geth exactly what they want."

Garrus approached, listening to their conversation. "They're not giving us much choice. We either leave it and escape, or risk getting everyone killed. Is it really worth that?"

"Maybe," Liara said, as she and EDI joined the group. "The original data appeared to be Prothean in nature. We won't know until we finish compiling and translating. It could make all the difference in this war."

Shepard leaned in, lowering her voice. "These geth are working for the Reapers. We won't leave this data behind. It's our priority. We get it at all costs," she said as Thane watched her. "Divert the rest of the power," she finished.

"Shepard - - " Thane began.

"You can't be actually considering this," Tali interrupted, the shock apparent in her voice. "We can't protect all these people. With the amount of geth out there, they'll be slaughtered,"

"This isn't a request," Shepard said, "It's an order."

"I may be of some assistance," EDI interjected. "If I can restore power to at least one backup generator, I can attempt to maintain full system defenses long enough for you to establish a link to the Normandy. We can then complete the translation on the ship."

"Will we be able to evacuate everyone in the time?" Tali asked her.

"Depending on how long the generator can be maintained, there is a 65 to 75 percent probability of fewer casualties this way."

"Do it, EDI," Shepard said. As EDI began to work on the main panel in the room, the area by the damaged door began to spark. Shepard knelt next to the injured scientist. He looked up at her, shaking, gripping his bleeding arm. "Where is the quickest exit from here," Shepard asked while holding the back of her own neck.

The scientist bit his lip, thinking. "Where!" she snapped.

"The...the roof," he said, pointing to a hatch in the ceiling.

Shepard bent her head down, pressing her thumb and ring finger against her temple. She felt the pulsing behind her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Tali asked, kneeling next to her. Shepard waved her off.

"Fine," Shepard said, standing. "EDI, unlock that hatch when we're up and running. The rest of you, get Cortez to meet you on the roof. I'll get the data. EDI and I will follow you up."

"I'm more familiar with the system than you, Shepard. I will stay and establish the data transfer," Tali said.

Shepard nodded. "What did you discover so far?" she asked Tali.

"Documents. Similar to the Prothean ones we have," Tali said.

"You mean the Crucible plans?" Shepard asked.

"We couldn't fully decipher it. The characters of text were different. More elaborate. Possibly blueprints, but they appeared to be piecemeal. But there was more. Liara said they looked like calculations embedded within star charts. One of the systems was the Dholen System. There was definitely something on Haestrom, but we can't read it yet."

The damaged door began to buckle further as the pounding on the other side continued. The team began to collect weapons and survivors, heading toward the hatch ladder. Tali loaded her shotgun with her remaining bullets as she approached the control station.

"Come on, EDI," Shepard yelled.

"Defenses are being maintained," EDI said. "But there is only one generator online. Fifty percent power."

"Get it up higher, EDI," Shepard said.

"I am trying," EDI said, her fingers flying over the panel. Garrus and Liara assisted some of the scientists up the ladder as the hatch unlocked. Thane ran back to Shepard. He held his weapon at his side and rested his hand on her shoulder.

"Go," Shepard said.

He looked at her, waiting for her to say something else. "Go," she said again, more forcefully.

Thane frowned and then nodded. "May the goddess protect you," he said and then left to follow Liara up the ladder.

"Shepard, I'm accessing the files," Tali said. "Establishing a link. Uploading...now."

"With current power draws, the generator will be offline in 5.46 minutes," EDI said.

"That's not enough time," Tali said. "I need at least 8 more minutes to complete the transfer and then another 5 minutes to complete the data scrub that's running behind it."

"How much time if we cut the defenses, EDI?" Shepard asked.

"Calculating...14.68 minutes of power if we disable our defenses now," EDI replied. Shepard and Tali exchanged glances before ducking down behind the control station.

"Do it!" Shepard said.

Within seconds the door buckled and a stream of bullets sprayed into the room. Shepard, Tali, and EDI returned fire, diving behind cover as intermittent rockets blazed past. Piles of geth began to collect on the floor. A geth hopper jumped over the panels and landed directly in front of Tali. She blasted it in the face with her shotgun, shielding her own face from the pieces of its head that blew apart. She peeked up at the control panel.

"Transfer is complete! Scrub is...complete!" she said. A geth destroyer loomed nearby, attacking them with its shotgun as the room went dark. The bright blue light from the destroyer's eye shone on them. As it shot at them again, the team scrambled toward the hatch. EDI deployed a decoy in an attempt to divert attention. "Follow me!" she said.

"Come on!" Shepard said to Tali. She rushed to follow EDI, her way lit by the intermittent fire from the geth. Reaching the ladder, Shepard realized Tali was nowhere to be seen. "Tali? Tali!" she screamed. Her vision suddenly blurred, her mind ached. There was a dark presence that surrounded her. It grabbed her shoulders and whispered into her ear. She pushed it away. "No. No! I won't leave her," Shepard screamed. She dropped to the floor, unable to see, unable to think momentarily. She closed her eyes, trying to shake the fog from her sight. Looking up, she could see Tali's body, face down on the ground, the destroyer poised over her. Shepard ran back, sliding underneath the destroyer and slamming it with a massive warp field. Its feet lifted off the ground long enough for Shepard to throw it backward with another biotic attack. As it fell, it fired from its shotgun right into Shepard's shoulder and chest, shredding the flesh beneath her armor. She cried out, reaching blindly for Tali in the dark. Feeling the sleek material of Tali's suit, Shepard grabbed on and pulled Tali closer. Dragging Tali on her unwounded shoulder, she made her way toward the hatch. EDI reached down, taking Tali from her. "Shepard!" EDI yelled.

"Take her!" Shepard cried, trying to catch her breath. "I'm right behind you!"

They crawled through the ducts, making their way to the roof. The light outside was blinding as Shepard staggered forward. Cortez landed the Kodiak nearby, allowing Thane, Garrus, and Liara to provide ample supporting fire against a handful of geth as EDI loaded a wounded Tali onto the shuttle. Shepard followed, barely able to grip the edge of the shuttle. She felt the hands of multiple people pulling her into the vehicle as the Kodiak's door shut behind her. Collapsing on the floor, she could see Daedalus standing above her. Her eyelids fluttered as she lost consciousness, her blood slowly pooling between her and Tali.


	6. Penumbra

Penumbra

by writeowl3

Shepard found herself standing alone in the dark. There was no mist this time, no trees.

"After all I've done for you, human," Daedalus said. Shepard turned, feeling his presence nearby. She squinted, trying to see the outline of his body against the void.

"I did what I had to," she said.

"You nearly lost everything!" he snarled.

"What good is victory if we sacrifice everything else to achieve it?" she said. "Because of you, Tali might have been killed."

His laughter seemed to float away: a whisper of amusement. "Yes. Well if it wasn't for me, we'd all be dead."

"What do you mean?" she asked. She felt the warmth of his breath on her neck.

"Haven't you noticed?" he said, grabbing her shoulder. She cried out as his fingers dug into the exposed muscle. "You're bleeding."

She opened her omni-blade. In the orange light, thick trails of blood streaked down her arm. They joined at her fingertips, pooling into droplets that clung to her skin until they were too heavy to hold on, slowly saturating the ground. Shepard looked up, startled by the face of Daedalus emerging from the darkness in front of her. Long fangs protruded from his face as he drew her closer.

* * *

"Joker, let me know when we're near Thessia," Shepard ordered over the comm.

"Aye, aye, ma'am," he replied.

Shepard was in Liara's quarters scrolling through the Prothean-like characters on the screens when Thane found her.

"Working alone?" he asked.

She nodded. "I sent Liara to rest in my room."

"How are you feeling?" he said, standing beside her.

"Fine. Dr. Chakwas fixed up most of the damage. Just a few more scars to add to the collection," she said, still watching the screens. "How's Tali?"

"The infection seems to be clearing. Her fever is still holding, however. It would be advisable to keep her out of combat," he said.

"I can always use the extra help here," she said.

Thane pulled Shepard away from the data. "She'll still need some time to recover. Besides, you should rest before Thessia. You haven't slept in days," he said.

Shepard shook her head. "I'm nearly there."

"The war isn't going anywhere," he said.

"That's the problem! We haven't gotten anywhere. I'm sick of calculating. Of waiting. It's time to end this!" she said. Thane rested his fingers on her neck, touching the knots of the scar. She bristled at his touch.

"What's going on," he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Don't avoid the question. You've been entirely too aggressive. Nearly killing your crew at all costs. Reckless. Demanding. That's not like you," he said.

She looked up at him, her eyes glowering with rage. "I will make them pay for what they've done," she said.

"No one expects you to defeat this Goliath alone," Thane said.

"All I need is this data!" she said.

Thane blinked slowly, watching her breathing quicken. He squeezed the skin along the back of her neck. She gasped.

"Stop it," she said.

He studied the flecks of gold gleaming around the iris of her eyes. "Dr. Chakwas found this...thing...inside you. She said it was inoperable. Wrapped around your spinal cord."

Shepard's eyes widened. "Who else knows?"

"Only me. You have to tell me what's going on," Thane insisted.

She pried his fingers from her neck and closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke. "In order to get the cure on Veles. I had to help him."

"Who?"

"Daedalus. He's the symbiont inside of me."

Thane's jaw dropped. "This...thing...it's permanent then, isn't it?" he asked.

"It seems to be. He's another being...his people were the Xianan. Another species we've never encountered before. Older than the Protheans even."

"How could you agree to this? Did you agree to this?"

"Yes."

"You let a foreign species coexist inside you. Without any thought to the danger."

"Of course I thought about it. But I had to do it."

Thane was silent; he stared at the characters on the screens. "Why?" he asked finally.

"The Reapers came. Things got out of control. Maelon was his host and was killed. We needed each other - -"

"So you traded. My life. For yours," Thane said. He began pacing, arms crossed.

"No, it wasn't like that."

"It is exactly like that."

"I had no choice."

He narrowed his eyes, looking at her. "Someone told me once. That there is always a choice."

She slammed her fist against the wall. "And someone told me once that all things worth keeping can be difficult. I did what needed to be done."

"How many people lost their lives in the process? All so one man could live."

"It doesn't matter. I'd do it again and live with the same consequences. Besides, you are not the only one who has a cure now."

"Perhaps not. But the burden is felt on my shoulders as well," he said, frowning. "And no salvation from my disease was worth losing you."

She touched his arm. "Thane, you don't understand. I'm still me. Daedalus is just a part of me now."

He shook his head. "Can't you see? He's already changed you. You have to stop this. Now."

"He showed me what the Reapers did to his people. To so many others. Cycle after cycle. We need to finish what his people started. The Reapers have to pay for what they've done. They will pay for the suffering," she said, her hands shaking.

Thane pulled away from her. He moved toward the door, his shoulders hunched. "No," he said, "we are the ones paying for it instead."

"Thane!" Shepard whispered, her voice breaking. He stopped in the doorway. "I wasn't enough," she said.

He turned back to look at her as if seeing her for the last time. "You were always enough for me."

* * *

Upon returning from the Illusive Man's base, Shepard stood before the pixilated blue image of Captain Anderson. "We found the Prothean VI," she said.

"And?" he asked.

"He told us that the Catalyst is the Citadel."

"Damn," he said, resting his hand on his chin.

"And he told us that the Reapers have moved the Citadel to Earth," she finished.

Anderson looked up at her. "I know."

Her eyes widened. "How?"

"It's here," he said, "above London."

"Commander," Joker said over the comm, "Admiral Hackett's ship is approaching. He's requesting to board."

Shepard nodded. "Granted."

"The arms of the Citadel are closed," Anderson continued.

Shepard stamped her fist against the control panel in front of her. "The Crucible is useless if we can't get the arms open."

"Hammer ground forces can get us there, but we'll need to take down the Hades cannons first," he said.

"What's the point of a ground assault?" she asked.

"There's a beam that's connected to the Citadel. The Reapers have been using it to take whatever or whomever they can carry," he said.

"That's our best option?" she asked.

"It's our only option," Admiral Hackett said as he entered the room. They saluted one another.

"Sir," Shepard said, "I still think we should find some other way to get to the Citadel directly. This will take too long."

"We've looked, Shepard. This may not be the most graceful way to get there. But it's close enough," Hackett said.

"I thought close only counted in horse shoes and hand grenades," Shepard said.

Hackett chuckled. "We're adding one to the list. The Sword fleets will take care of the Reaper forces surrounding Earth. Hammer will storm London and get to the beam," he said.

"You'll lead a squadron of shuttles," Anderson said. "Take out the cannons with your team. We can rendezvous to set up an operations base and launch an assault toward the beam from there. Anyone who makes it on the Citadel will activate the arm controls."

Shepard crossed her arms and grunted. "Is that all?"

"Isn't that enough?" Hackett asked.

"Yeah," she said with a smirk. "Close enough."

"Get the arms open, Commander, no matter the cost," Hackett said.

"Yes, sir," she replied.

"Good luck...to all of us," he said with a salute.

As Hackett disembarked, Shepard found her way to Joker's seat at the helm. "We're heading back to Earth. London," she said.

Joker hummed a pitch as he worked the Normandy controls and then began to sing:

"I have travell'd this wide world over,  
And now to another I'll go.  
I know that good quarters are waiting..."

He held the last note and his hand out to Shepard. He lifted his arm higher, his voice wavering until he finally ran out of breath. Joker sighed. "You, uh...you don't know that one, huh? Hmm."

Shepard simply raised an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe you need to get out to the bars more," he said. "What? London was good to me back when I started training. I learned a few things there."

"Didn't do much for your singing," Shepard said.

"Hey," he said pointing at her, "the acoustics at Mickey's were much better."

"I'm sure the alcohol had nothing to do with that," she said.

"Can't say," Joker mused, "I usually wasn't sober enough to tell by the time we got to singing."

Shepard laughed. "London, Joker."

"Aye, ma'am. And Shepard...get back here in one piece. I'll teach you a few of my favorites at our victory party."

Shepard leaned in, hanging on the back of Joker's chair. "To welcome old Rosin the beau," she sang. "Maybe I'll teach you to sing better while we're at it."

Joker laughed. "So you do know it."

"Of course I do," she said, "but your singing is bad enough to make a krogan cry," she said with a grin.

Joker smiled back at her. "Be careful down there."

Shepard nodded. "Have the team ready at the Kodiak."

* * *

The broken shell of downtown London continued to crumble, collecting in piles of rubble and ash. The fires that crackled throughout the city lit the way for the shuttles. Shepard and her crew exited the Kodiak, leaping to the ground as one of the shuttles exploded behind them.

"Get to cover!" she said, ducking behind the deformed remains of a metal fence. The team worked their way around the burned out park in front of them, pushing back the Reaper forces as they went. Tremors echoed from explosions as Liara pummeled the chest plate of a marauder with her biotics while Kaidan and Shepard shot the arms and legs off approaching swarms of husks, leaving their torsos to writhe on the ground. EDI's clones diverted the attention of a group of cannibals while James launched grenades at them. Sliding behind him, Javik climbed a headless statue. He grabbed a screaming banshee and then slammed it face first into the ground. Garrus and Thane worked from their rear posts, sniping stray cannibals one by one.

They progressed past the park and through the streets. Shepard led them up a pile of debris, clearing the entrance of a burned out building. "This way!" she ordered.

A brute hurdled from the shadows of the hallway, swiping at Shepard. She dodged the hulk of his claw. The spray of bullets from her gun ricocheted on his armor, sending a section of thick metal spinning to the ground. The thermal clip in her assault rifle glowed from the saturation of heat as the brute bellowed and beat his chest. He stared her down with his beady blue eyes before charging again. She took cover inside the building, quickly assessing the structural damage as she ran. Sliding over a table and replacing the clip, Shepard shot at the weak spots in the floor around her. Before she could hurl a biotic charge at the approaching brute, he vaulted toward her, missing her head by inches as he slammed his claw into the ground. Shepard lost her balance as the floor disintegrated. They fell into the chasm, swallowed by concrete. Major supports toppled on them as well, turning the whole structure into a mountain of ruin as the team reached her.

"Shepard...Shepard, can you hear me?" Liara called out frantically over the comm.

"I'm here," Shepard replied, coughing. Shielded by a damaged pillar, she peeled herself off of the wheezing brute. Shepard felt around in the dark for an exit, pushing away any slabs of debris that would give way.

"We'll try to get you out," Liara said.

"Don't worry about me," Shepard said. "Keep moving and get to the cannons. I'll meet up with you."

"The building could collapse further," Thane said on the comm.

The brute growled and attempted to find its footing. "Don't worry, you won't be waiting long," she said, scrambling toward a sliver of light. She slashed at it with her omni-blade, and the cement broke free. Ramming her shoulder through, she stumbled outside into the sulfuric air. The support beams above groaned then as the brute resumed his pursuit. Shepard attacked the beams instead with waves of biotic energy and watched as they gave way, slamming through the chest cavity of the brute, its outstretched claw still pointing menacingly at her.

The ground shook as a white light illuminated the landscape, briefly lit as if it were the middle of the day. "Right. Hades cannons that way," she said.

* * *

"Keep going!" Liara yelled. She strafed from cover, firing at a ravager until the acidic mucus burst from its sacs. Swarmers rushed forth, only to be picked off one by one by the Alliance soldiers with the crew.

"Nice one," Shepard said as she approached.

"Thank the goddess," Liara said, joining her. "Are you alright?"

Shepard caught her breath, wiping the sweat from her forehead. "You'd think for how big those bastards are, they'd have a harder time sneaking up on you like that."

"Ma'am! We've cleared a path to the cannon," a marine said. "What's the plan?"

"This," Shepard replied, taking the M-920 Cain from Liara. "Portable particle accelerator - -"

"You brought a nuke gun!" he interrupted with excitement, staring at the yellow symbol on the weapon.

"We brought a nuke gun," Shepard said, sighing.

"One shot. Make it count," Liara said.

"Blow its gullet wide open!" James yelled.

Shepard took aim and fired at the throat of the cannon. A mushroom cloud erupted from the massive, white-hot field warps. The earth rumbled as the legs of the cannon collapsed against the backdrop of the Thames. Cheers were heard from some of the soldiers.

"Don't celebrate yet," Shepard said.

"Last cannon down. You're clear to land, Hammer," a marine said over the comm as Shepard stared at the giant beam of light that loomed in the distance.

"Commander? We've got company!" James yelled.

"Fall back!" Shepard said. "Any Alliance in the vicinity, we need an extraction. Now!"

A wave of Reaper forces arrived, shooting at them through the skeletal remains of the buildings all around. James and Kaidan quickly worked with the rest of the Alliance soldiers there to set up a defensive perimeter. Hordes of cannibals, marauders, and ravagers appeared, flanking the group's position.

"Shepard, watch your six!" Kaidan barely finished saying as Garrus picked off the cannibal charging behind her.

"You're one in a million, Garrus," Shepard said.

"You know, this might be my new favorite spot _off_ the Citadel," he said.

As Thane concentrated on the enemies to his right, there was suddenly a shrill scream behind him. He whipped his rifle around, repeatedly shooting the banshee in the head, but she continued to lumber towards him. He backpedaled while attacking, trying gain some distance and avoid nearby fire. The banshee charged instead, teleporting randomly closer and closer until she suddenly appeared directly in front of him. She snarled and lifted her arms overhead, swinging them down at Thane. He ducked but the attack still decimated his shields and sent him staggering. Howling, she grabbed onto Thane, lifting him into the air with one fist. The banshee threw her head back and screamed, baring her teeth for all the world to see while he struggled to free himself. Shepard leapt onto the banshee's back, reached around, and then shoved a grenade down the banshee's throat. It gurgled, unable to wail, and dropped Thane in order to claw desperately at its throat. Shepard ran to Thane, looping her arm through his as they ran. The physical form of the banshee began to melt away, lost in the sudden implosion of a warp field; the concussion tossed Shepard and Thane to the ground. Righting herself, Shepard reached out to help Thane to his feet. She tried to release her grip but he held on, grasping her hand tightly. In that brief moment, they were only aware of one another. She squeezed back.

"Shepard, they're coming from everywhere!" James yelled.

"Harvester inbound. Carrying more Reaper forces," EDI said.

"Alliance, I repeat: This is Commander Shepard. Extraction needed A SAP!" Shepard said.

"Hold your position, Commander. Extraction has arrived," Major Coats said as his shuttle blazed to a halt in front of them.

"Come on! We'll cover you!" he called, this time from the open shuttle door.

"Go, go, go!" Shepard said, racing toward the shuttle herself. She hurdled over a blown-out window ledge and rammed her boot into the face of a cannibal. Liara attacked the Reaper forces in front of them, effectively clearing a path to the shuttle. Major Coats reached down to help Shepard as her feet hit floor with a metallic twang. She immediately kneeled next to him, assisting in cover fire.

"Move it!" she said, as the rest of the crew catapulted on. Major Coats promptly slapped the controls to close the shuttle doors.

"Get us out of here, Corporal," he said. "Everyone ok?"

"We're alive," Shepard said.

"That's something to be thankful for," someone said.

Shepard turned, recognizing the familiar voice. "Anderson!" she said.

"I knew you'd get through," Anderson said, grasping her hand. Shepard pulled him in for a hug.

"It's good to see you again," she said.

He nodded. "Likewise. With the cannons down, Hammer can land. But I'm afraid we're just getting started."

"We'll get there. One step at a time," she said.

"Agreed. But it's good to have you home," he said.

* * *

After speaking with the rest of the crew around the makeshift operations base, Shepard found Liara inside, treating a few wounded soldiers.

"How are they?" Shepard asked.

"Most are stable. Thankfully, they haven't brought in any more wounded for a while." Liara said.

"That's something at least. We should be gearing up soon," Shepard said.

Liara stood with her arms crossed, staring at the soldier in front of her, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. "This is it. Isn't it?" she said.

"Yeah," Shepard replied.

Liara gave her a small smile. "I'm not sure what to say to you right now."

"You don't have to say anything. After all we've been through, I don't know if words are really needed at this point."

Liara nodded. "It's funny. My work was the only companion I needed for so long. Until I met you. My whole life changed that day. I was never the same again. Because of you."

Shepard shook her head. "You changed your life, Liara. Not me."

"Maybe. But I realize now that there are some people who draw you in. No matter how hard you try to resist, you can't help but follow them. And before you know it, they've become a constant in your life. Filling the space around you. And you can't see anyone else. Because they are everything to you."

"Liara, I - -"

"No. It's alright. I just want to thank you. For everything. Promise me, when this is all over that you and Thane will take some time. To be happy."

Shepard smiled, hugging Liara. "I promise," she said, holding her tighter.

Liara wiped a tear from her cheek before taking Shepard's hand. "There's something I'd like to give you, Shepard. A gift. If you want it."

"Of course I do."

Liara pulled her close again. "Close your eyes."

Shepard did as Liara asked, and when she opened her eyes again, the two of them were standing among the stars, Liara's hand firmly clasped within her own.

* * *

In the next room, Thane stood over the workbench, his fingers making precise and delicate movements as he tweaked the upgrades on his gun. Shepard leaned against the wall nearby, watching him work.

"I never thought I'd live to see this day," he said.

"And yet here you are," she said.

"I am," he mused. "I will still be your arm in battle, Shepard. Doing what is needed. We'll break the Reaper's cycle of destruction. Now if you'll excuse me, I...must meditate to prepare for battle."

"We're about to face the heart of the Reaper forces. To win this war or be destroyed. Is that really all you have to say to me?" Shepard asked with a frown.

"No," he said, shoving his rifle across the table. "It's far from what I want to say to you."

Shepard stood silently. Waiting.

"I know I wasn't with you when you began this journey," Thane said.

"But we'll finish it with you," she said.

"And I want to finish it with you. But only you," he said, taking her hand.

Shepard rubbed her forehead. "No. Daedalus needs me."

"I need you."

"I'm right here, Thane. I care for you."

"But it isn't right," Thane said. "Not like this. You may not be able to see it. But you aren't... you...anymore. In all of my time as an assassin, I can honestly say I have never felt this kind of loneliness," he said. "I have lost my _by'taremma_."

Shepard nodded, pulling away. "You haven't lost me. But if this is how you feel, I can't keep begging you to love me as I am."

With a knock on the crumbling wall, Anderson appeared in the open doorway behind them. "Shepard. Hammer is assembled. We're ready when you are," he said.

"Yeah. I'm ready. Tell everyone to get their gear. We're about to send the Reapers back to hell. In pieces."


End file.
